Spoon
God, I'm hungover this morning. This week's question is not helping.

More hilarious student drunken nonsense. After a drunken stagger round all the bars on campus - the "Campus Fourteen" - we returned home somewhat the worse for wear.

One friend passed out fully clothed on top of his bed. The next morning he awoke, got up and showered. A strange smell of vomit lingered in his room. But from where? Not the bin. Not the wardrobe. Not under the bed. How odd. He finally discovered it: before passing out on top of his bed, he had vomited on the duvet. And then folded the top of the duvet down over the vomit and slept on top of it. This meant that his weight neatly strained the liquid component of the vomit through the duvet and sheet and into his mattress, leaving a compacted solid residue stuck to his duvet cover. Nice.

The flatmate in the room on the other side of mine, meanwhile, awoke with his head hanging off the side of the bed to discover that he had vomited on his clock radio. When I saw him, he'd unscrewed the top and was spooning vomit out of the speaker with a teaspoon. His parents - who had given him the clock radio as a present - were due to arrive that morning to take him out to lunch.
( foop, Fri 19 Mar 2004, 11:28, Reply)