Just say no....
A few years ago I was away with some work people in a large northern town, that may or may not have been Liverpool, and were staying in a large, posh hotel that may or may not have been the Adelphi.

Some clever fool had decided that we should take some pills to go with the cocktail of weed & whisky to help aid enjoyment. After starting off with a half. I decided to have another half. Then another. And Another. After chucking out time we went back to the hotel and decided to get room service to send up drinks. And more drinks. This was combined with yet more weed and cheese toasties. Oh. The cheese toasties. We were so mashed that we didn't notice them. This prompted a deeply irate phonecall to room service, who politley pointed out that the toasties had been delivered two hours previously. My colleage spent 3/4 hour on the phone insisting that he was very important (we weren't) and that they'd be hearing from his lawyer. Me. He grabbed me of the TV, which I was licking furiously as there was a Britney Spears video on it. This lawyer/client thing two & froed. Until we got bored and wanted champagne. This wasn't forthcoming. More weed happened. My colleague stripped half naked, declared his undying love for me & started trying to convert me to man love. Shocked fuck offs resulted in his starting to cry. Aww.

I passed out.

I awoke to find my unnamed colleague gone. his mobile phone & all his clothes were in a neatish pile. I went back to sleep.

Three hours later he still hadn't returned. I kinda assumed he must of wandered off & passed out, so I called the other people we were in town with and went on a search. Check out time came & went. No sign of him. Anywhere. We reached the stage where we were getting into teh car to travel back to Southampton without him. We had come to the conclusion that he must have been arrested or died but he wasn't in any of the police stations or hospitals we called.

Just as we were driving off one of had a call from our sheepish friend. He was in reception wearing only his pants and faint gurn. He'd broken into another room & passed out, and amazingly wasn't too happy that we were leaving.

Apologies for length (phnar phnar). Still amuses me no end, though.
(Lord of the Pies, Fri 19 Mar 2004, 15:33, Reply)