One of the pubs in a town I used to live in had been done up...
It was all smart now and did food. How glamorous! Glass bottles of ketchup!
I went in there with some friends a couple of nights after its grand reopening. We had been in there about 10 minutes when one of our number returned from a visit to the bogs and informed us that we wouldn't believe what he had seen there.

Off I went, and yes, the toilets were remarkable. Remarkably bad that is! The fucking clowns who had installed them had completely forgotten to fit any urinals in the gents! I had a slash in a cubicle and went back to laugh at the idiots who had made such a schoolboy error.

Or rather I went back to get the piss ripped out of me for not realising that the Gents were now where the ladies used to be and vice versa, and that I was a right cunt for assuming that an architect, project manager and team of builders and plumbers were idiots, while I was of course a genius for not being at least part aware that I was standing in a ladies toilet looking all smug.

And then we spoke about the foot lever activated taps that had started the bloody conversation in the first place.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 18:09, Reply)