The Dim Emergency Pub Plumbers
I worked in a north London public house for several years. I hated working on the bar, because I hate people. I slowly usurped as many back of house jobs as possible, including ‘cellar management’. This involved using line cleaner and a broom to scrub the cellar, before cleaning the beer lines once the pub shut.

One night I was scrubbing the cellar when I heard a cracking noise. I looked over to see a dribble of piss running down the wall from a cracked soil pipe connected to the urinals above, and leading into the main soil pipe. A straight rod was sticking through the crack, which quickly disappeared. This piqued my interest, so I went up to the pub to see two plumbers faffing about by the gents. I asked if they had anything to do with the cracked pipe. They initially denied it, but came down to the cellar to have a look. After complaining of the caustic atmosphere and laughing at the puddle of piss around the bottles of blue WKD they admitted their mistake. This they compounded when one of them decided to ‘get at the blockage from down here’. They got their rods out and jammed them into the crack, making it larger for extra manoeuvrability. After some to-ing and fro-ing they cleared the blockage.

How is this a “Brain Fade”? Well, they cleared the blockage and in the process sprayed themselves with an ochre coloured liquid reminiscent of diarrhoea. The surprise and disgust upon their faces was something that one would expect to see only on a spoilt toddler not getting the expensive and gaudy Christmas presents it was demanding.

TL:DR – Two plumbers rammed their rods into a crack in a blocked soil pipe from below and got covered in turd-like water, the consistency of low quality gravy.
(GonkHerder, Fri 22 Mar 2013, 16:48, Reply)