Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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POLICE CASH POINTTHE POLICE OFTEN SET UP A SPEED CAMARA OUTSIDE MY HOUSE. THIS IS VERY ANOYING AS THEY WILL STAND IN MY DRIVEWAY. LEMMONS. SO ONE DAY I THOUGHT A GOOD IDEAR IT WOULD BE TO SEE HOW MUCH NOTICE THEY WOULD TAKE IF I SET UP MY OWN. I STOULD OUT SIDE MY HOUSE WITH A HAIR DRYER AND A RIFLECTIVE JACKET AND WHEN A CAR CAME ALONG HELD IT UP AIMING AT THEM. ALL WAS GOOD FUN AND SOME FUNNY REACTIONS FROM MOTORISTS UNTILL IT STARTED TO GET DARK. AS I RAISED MY WEAPON OF CASH DISTRUCTION AT A CAR I REARLISED IT WAS MISTER PLOD HIMSELF. SHITING MY SELF WHEN HE STOPED HE ASKED ME WHAT I WAS DOING. I SAID I WAS JUST DRYING MY HAIR WHEN I HEARD A STRANGE NOISE OUTSIDE HE TOLD ME TO GO HOME FOR SOME REASON. PROBILY COS I HAVE A SKIN HEAD OR FOR BEING A DICK..... HAY HO.....
(, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 22:42, Reply)
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