Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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mug-shotsAs I work in retail we often get shop-lifters, and I'm sometimes invited to the Sty to view mug-shots. One time I was extremely surprised to see one of my best mate among the thieves, sex offenders, druggies, dossers and other assorted scum. It took several pints to persuade him to tell me why he'd been arrested - it was for vandalism - he'd been spotted picking a flower from a council bed. Point 1: how embarrassing - and point 2: how fucking petty...
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 2:11, Reply)
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