Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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Not dangerous, just embarassing...One late night, I was walking home from work when I noticed a box that a store had put out with the trash. It was filled with plastic DVD cases. I opened a few and they were empty, and it just so happened I needed some spare cases.
I grabbed the box and continued home. A patrol car pulled to a stop near me, and the cop leaned out his window toward me. "What's in the box?"
Why lie? "Some empty DVD cases I found in the trash. I really needed them, and they were thrown out, so..."
"Can I see?"
Why not? I opened the box and handed him a few. He took them for a closer look, confirmed their emptiness, and then looked at the covers.
I didn't realize why he started laughing so hard until I realized where I had got them - outside the porno store. I took a closer look in the box, and in the light of the cop car realized what the covers looked like. I had just handed the cop a stack of empty video nasties, with very "illustrative" covers.
He dropped them back in the box, looked at me as though I were liable to begin violating myself at any moment, snickered "Enjoy," and drove off.
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Rob T Firefly talked, like, William Shatner, on, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 7:01,
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