Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
(
rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
« Go Back
it was wintertimeand the snow had ben falling heavily.
My sister, her friends and i, decided to go bowling/cinema or something.. i can't really remember.
we were all sober and i was driving very carefully due to the icy roads and was feeling quite pleased with myself as i obeyed every speed limit and signpost... the model citizen i thought.
That's why i was so confused when i heard the sirens whooping to pull me over.
"whatever for?!" i thought to myself as i stopped in the next layby.
as i wound down my window to talk to the copper who was tapping on the glass, the thick build-up of snow on the exterier of the glass was scraped from the window and literlly covered the coppers feet completely.
"ah" i thought....
"step out of the car please sir" said the fuzz.
as i stepped out of the car i realised why we had been pulled over.
The car was literally covered in snow, and the porthole i had made in the windscreen part of it (for me to see out) was only about 6 inches wide.
So that's why i weas driving with my nose about 2 inches from the windscreen i thought.
I had inadvertantly been driving an igloo down the road.
The copper made us scrape all the snow off the car there and then. no gloves or scrapers... just extremely pink aching hands.
on yer way! instructed copper.
(
biscuits_alive taste my rainbow, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 13:09,
Reply)
« Go Back