Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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bit of a scary non-funny one, but 100% of fact.A few years ago I was living in Clapton when the police kicked a man to death (allegedly) that they had arrested outside my flat. I didn't learn the full story until reading it a couple of weeks later in the paper, but I'd been kept awake by their blue flashing lights.
The next day I was having a smoke and a beer and watching daytime TV (I was student) when I got a visit from two of Stoke Newington's finest. Obviously my first thought was "Shit, I'm going to get nicked for posession". Instead, they asked me what I'd seen last night. I was a bit evasive (and possibly rude, as I've never exactly liked the police), so they started being a bit more insistent.
The doorway where we were having this conversation opened out onto a secluded yard and a quiet alleyway. After a couple of minutes of talking to what I took to be 'good cop', his larger and nastier mate picked up a half brick and began tossing it in the air one-handed, while lecturing me on what a dangerous area I was living in and how easy it would be for somebody to give me a beating without being seen. ACAB
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 15:38, Reply)
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