Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
(
rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
« Go Back
From the archives of the Metwhere y Dad used to work as a Sargeant. Anyway, one of his mates at the same police station was into motorbikes. One day, he goes down to a motorbike fair-thingy some 100 miles away from London. In biker gear the gu looks perfectly disrespectable. Sees a guy with an obviously stolen bike. Feeds him a priceless story about wanting to buy the bike on the condition the guy follows him to his house in London and they complete the deal there. Anyway, this muggins and the copper travel 100 miles up to London and pull up outside a police station. The copper says "Gimme a minute to do X" hops of the bike and walks over to muggins. The muggins, noticing something is wrong looks up at the police station and turns to the copper saying (with an air of suprise) "You're a bleedin' copper aren't you?". Hereby follows a swift arrest.
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 18:10, Reply)
« Go Back