Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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'Anti-terrorism'After a few months of saving I finally had enough cash to go on holiday with my mates over the summer, to malia (crete, greece). So there we were, 9 lads having a few jars at the airport lounge then, when it was time, walking to our flight gate. Passing some heavily armed rozzers with sub-machine guns my mate decided to comment and murmered: 'I smell a pork-related product'. This roused a chuckle and we went on our way.
However, after ambling all the way to gate 24 and sitting down near it, said policemen came up to my mate, ordered him over into the corner, searched him and gave him a written warming under the 'anti-terrorism act'! The rest of us were, of course, pissing ourselves with laughter at this point and I promptly stood up and snapped them with my disposable camera while my friend to the left was filming on the camcorder. This pissed them off no end: they confiscated my camera and took the camcorder tape. The bastards.
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 18:57, Reply)
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