Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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the perils of monty python and trolleysWhen i was about 15, some mates and me decided to down to our local, run down cinema establishment in Fareham (the kind of place where Max Bygraves is a regular), as they were showing Monty Python's Meaning Of Life. We had also decided to bring some cinema snacks a la stolichnya vodka, and entered the place. It soon turned out that we were the only people there, so we got quite merry, and eenjoyed the film. On the way back (around midnight) we decided to muck around with some shopping trolleys in a car park. I was pushing my mate Al really fast, just as a police car pulled in, sirens flashing. Of course, being a good little boy i let go of the trolley and turned to talk to the coppers. They asked how much we thought the trolleys cost (about 20p, as my mate Steve replied). This got them quite riled, and they started asking for names and addresses, at which point, we heard a large noise. Al, supposedly blinded by drunkenness had inadvertendly pushed the trolley in to the police car. Cue night in the cells for Al....
(, Fri 9 Jan 2004, 11:34, Reply)
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