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This is a question Breakin' The Law

'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'

(, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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My tuppence
There've been a few incidents, most not really noteworthy, but these two are good examples.

1. I once drove through an army check point in Belfast in the middle of the night as I was so stoned I confused the red torch light they use to get you to stop with brake lights on a car further down the road. Given the army's notorious itchy fingers at checkpoints I think I was quite lucky there.

2. I went to the university of salford where I met a few cool people. One of them we thought was well balanced but it turned out he'd been sleeping with a replica gun under his pillow for a few months. It transpired he was just going to use it to scare the shit out of his sisters husband who had taken to being a bit heavy handed with her. Cool we thought, replica gun!
Castle Irwell is the salford uni student village & out the back of that is the irwell valley, a lovely green bit of grass & trees full of muggers, murderers, rapists & scallies. Behind that used to be the halls of residence. We decided to take the gun up there & have a go at firing it in one of the fields. Which we did & had a great old time. Finally the gun jammed & we decided to head home. One of the lads there took the gun & headed up to girlfriends in the halls of residence. When he got to hers she said something like "Jesus, you've not been out there have you! The police have just been round to tell us to stay in as some nutter is shooting a gun down in the fields". "Oh" he says, and then with a smile opens his coat & pulls out the pistol, "you mean this gun here?"

oh and once i got stopped for a faulty headlight & the cop noticed my tax disc was out by a week. so he comes up to me and says "Right sunshine, seems your tax disc is up too"
"Shite" say I "Genuinely didn't know that" to which he replies without any hint of irony "Well, I'm like Don Corleone, I'm a reasonable man. You have a week to get that seen to" - what a complete twat. I could see his partner hanging his head in shame when he said.
(, Fri 9 Jan 2004, 11:44, Reply)

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