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This is a question Breakin' The Law

'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'

(, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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forgot this
one night during a voluntary 6 week tee-total period. I was trying to aleviate boredom by playing delta force at about 2am one saturday morning. I just in my in my boxers & tee-shirtplaying merrily when a fucking plod just strode into my bedroom. talk about shocked. I stood up & look for all the world like a filty late night internet self abuser in my dark room infront of my computer in my boxers. I stood & said "Can i help you" in my best, i'm not a porno junkie & am actually quite reasonable voice & he just said "do you think you could put some trousers on, sir".

I lived in a shared house & one of the girls had come home and found the front door open a bit & thought we must have been burgled. So she phones the dibble & asks them to check out the house in case they are still in there. silly chicken.
(, Fri 9 Jan 2004, 12:58, Reply)

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