Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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My pipe, me, and the fireworks showI went to a fireworks show with some mates, my loaded pipe, and a 1/8 oz of nice herbs in my pocket. My mate had a toke, then I took it and just as I finished lighting it a pair of the local filth strolled up and asked me why the hell was I doing that in front of (my mates) kids?
They saw my pipe (metal), and thinking that I was lighting fireworks in front of my mates kids were really reading me the riot act. Then one of them realised that it was a pipe, asked to see it (kept it too the bastard). Then asked me if I was finished with it (it was of course empty), and I said yes.
So they acted as if they were going to let me off with a warning and asked me if that was all I had, I said "Yes" of course, though wondering if I should admit to the 1/8 in my pocket.
Just as I started to empty out my pockets, some idiot nearby started lighting fireworks, thanks to the idiot they ran off to chase him down leaving me very relieved.
Total waste of a fucking good high.
(, Fri 9 Jan 2004, 20:22, Reply)
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