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This is a question Break-up Stories

Freddie Woo sends us a tale of woe which ends: "I could live with being cheated on. What really got me that there was clearly a third person holding the camera, and the arse pummeling up and down sometimes had a tattoo, sometimes it didn't. I moved out that day." Tell us about how a relationship's come crashing down around you.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 13:18)
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It's quite reasonable to wish your girlfriend dead...
to avoid having to break up with her.
(I helped save b3ta! Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 20:13, 16 replies)
Classic Marshma-lie.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 20:17, closed)
Doesn't have the alliteration of 'Liemallow'
But you never know...people may run with it.
(I helped save b3ta! Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 20:24, closed)
It has precisely the same amount of alliteration as Liemallow.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 20:40, closed)
Nah.
The vowels clash that way round.

But like I said...you might get some traction.
(I helped save b3ta! Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 20:42, closed)
I might just go all-out with Lie-bert Lie-ma-lie.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 20:47, closed)

That's just "The Boxer".
(I helped save b3ta! Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:43, closed)
^ good internet

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 8:48, closed)
Ha!
I'm totally calling him The Boxer from now on. If I remember. Which I won't.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 8:57, closed)
Surely you just hack into her email, dig up some dirt, confront her with it and leave in disgust (I'm the moped)?
Seriously, between the property fortune, coffee from the future, and your 1337 having skills, your life must be a breeze.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 20:21, closed)

coo coo ca-choo
(I helped save b3ta! Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 21:56, closed)
Heh...
Are you using an iPhone?
(I helped save b3ta! snee held his breath since, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 7:00, closed)
Android.
Good to know that other brands of mobile OS can fuck up predictive text, too, though.

THIS HAS BEEN A PAID ANNOUNCEMENT BY MICROSOFT.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 9:07, closed)
I let my girlfriend's visa expire for this very same reason.

(cs1ca, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 20:36, closed)

visa rental agreement
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 20:41, closed)

In the end it was more or less the same thing
(cs1ca, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 20:45, closed)
You should stick to HP.
The tax perks are better and at the end of the term you own a knackered old model that you can flog on Autotrader.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 20:48, closed)

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