Prepare yourselves
A few years back, I used to have two friends, Bryn Robbs and Sam Eastwick. I think they had nicknames, but I can't remember them at the moment so I'm using their names. We used to hang out loads, playing out in the woods, making dens and such shit as kids are wont to do. However, there was one part of the woods we never used to go in. We nicknamed it the Lost Valley, because it felt like something that was lost, and somewhere you could get lost in easily. There was an air of menace about the area, quiet menace and desperation. There had always been rumours about the Lost Valley, of bad stuff that happened there, of smugglers and killers hiding out there.

It was in short, not a nice place for us kids and so we stayed in the woods that were nice and sunlit and happy and full of life, climbing trees and pretending to be spies on a secret mission and hide and seek and all the stuff that kids play outside in the woods. Until one day, when we were playing hide and seek, Bryn and Sam disappeared completely. We had been playing it with a few other friends from school, and so, we didn’t really notice until everyone else bar Bryn and Sam had been found.

An hour or so passed, and it was late afternoon, just before evening. We started to worry as it was getting on for 6 pm and therefore, teatime. So we started to call for Bryn and Sam, and after that failed, we decided, in true Scooby Doo fashion, to split up and search for clues. As we’d been playing out here long enough over the years, we knew where the trails were and could read tracks across the ground, and it wasn’t long until I found their tracks leading towards the Lost Valley.

So I shouted for my mates, the ones who were around, that I’d found signs of them, and that we were all going to search the Lost Valley. And search it we did, but very reluctantly. The woods, which had once been filled with shrieks of laughter and joy and animal noises, were now deathly silent. We were all afraid, but we had to find our friends.

I found them eventually. And something else with them. They had been knocked out when they slipped down a slope and fallen into a pit in the Lost Valley, which was why they hadn’t responded to our calls. They had seemingly found a chest which had shiny stuff glinting in the dying light in it, and I shouted for my mates to come and see what Bryn and Sam had found, using their nicknames (which I've now just remembered).

“I found treasure! And B.R, Easts are good!”

*Awaits spanging*

Well, what else do you want to hear this week? How I like breasts?
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Thu 6 May 2010, 15:51, 4 replies)

Erm ...
Whut?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 May 2010, 16:01, closed)

Shit pun
Tried to come up with a quickie based around breasts and failed.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Thu 6 May 2010, 16:06, closed)

miserably

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 6 May 2010, 16:36, closed)

minus?
Dear Shirley,

There should be a minus 'I like this' because that comment needs this!!!
(Suck it and Sea, Fri 7 May 2010, 20:30, closed)