Really?
Over half the posts for this QOTW qualify for attention seeking, and you're bothering to point it out for this post*? Man, that's a valiant effort...


*Which, I actually can't see how it's attention seeking other than the fact that people seem to get all confused and bothered over the mention of boobs. Seriously, go hassle one of the people that's bragging about their cup size or that of some girl they banged back in the day. As far as I'm concerned, just bragging = attention seeking, and bragging within a relevant context (preferably amusing one) = a-okay.

So, first of all I'd like to point out one thing: you do know that the best way to deal with an attention seeker is to IGNORE them, right? With a true attention seeker, even negative attention strokes their ego. Notoriety is better than being inconsequential. Posts pointing out that a person is an attention seeker just feed them. Which is more likely: the poster is overjoyed that you posted and boosted their comments/reply count, thereby likely drawing more attention to a post that could have died alone and forgotten, OR will they seriously be all "ho noes this person doesn't like me, I feel ashamed and worthless"?

That said, there are still motivations for a person to make a post like yours. Just make sure you're doing it right.
1. The sheer trolliness of it all. Man, it must be infuriating for people to comb through their comments and come across a post like this. With such little explanation, it makes a person ask themselves "Why would they say that? Do I really come across like that? I must defend myself forthwith!" This is GREAT fodder for starting stupid fights online. Just make sure to respond with unfounded allegations that will inspire the person to continue to fight back. Eventually they'll stop trying to reason with you and will just start all-caps-ing obscenities about your mother. Then you've won.

Another great way to throw fuel on the fire is too point out silly little typos. See, I've written in a manner that doesn't make readers feel as though they are getting dumber by the minute. I actually spell out words and capitalize and everything yet I'm sure you are just dying to tell me that I used "too" in a place where it quite clearly should be "to" a few sentences back. (Go ahead, mention it. It's making me cringe too). Of course, when being a grammar/spelling nazi, make sure that you yourself use impeccable grammar/spelling. Screwing up that one is rookie mistake and may make your fellow trolls turn on you.

2. FIRST! a.k.a. I WUZ HERE! This one is more of a marking-of-territory thing. If you can be the first to accuse someone of attention whoring it up, you get a medal. But only if other people jump on the bandwagon - if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, it's because you are just a douche and no one cares. There's an art to this. If you don't jump on an attention whore as soon as you spot one, someone else might beat you to it. On the other hand, you need to have mad attention-whore-recognizing skillz in order to ensure that you don't look stupid for picking on someone that everyone else likes or considers to be too insignificant to waste time on.

If you aren't the first, don't let that discourage you. Your post can always add to the certainty that this person is, in fact, an attention seeker. What's that? It's a bit redundant, you say? You might think that, but you'd be wrong. The more people to point it out, the better. One post calling someone an attention-seeker is easy to ignore, but forty posts really start to seep into the psyche and destroy a person from the inside out.

Just because you're late to the party doesn't mean you have to be inventive either, a simple one-word post would suffice. Make sure that the one word is clear and to-the-point though, because if they can't figure out what you mean, they'll ignore it. If they ignore it, you haven't done your part. And if you haven't done your part, you don't get to feel smug and superior. You wouldn't want that, now would you?

3. The court of public opinion. This stuff is a spectator sport too, so make sure you don't forget your audience. Let's say that you have a victim and you want an internet community to join you in heckling the person. The best way to do this is to cater your "attention seeker" post to that community. I would advise the use of an inside joke, preferably in the form of an image. Words are easy to skip over, while images really pop out. Also, by referencing part of the community's pop culture, you show belonging and are more likely to draw attention and support.

If you're good at this you can make a name for yourself, but then you're stuck in a niche. On the plus side, it'll take a lot less effort to get the ball rolling on a bash-fest. On the other hand, if everyone expects you to be their doubting-Thomas beacon of guidance in determining the worth of a post, you'll have trouble with making genuine posts. Wouldn't you feel bad if you inadvertently brought the wrath of the internet down on a person you approved of just because others assumed you were being sarcastic? Plus people appreciate smart-asses for being amusing, so you aren't allowed to post some serious story about how your dad died in a car accident last week. With great power comes great responsibility. You might need two accounts.


Anyway, I hope that all helped. If you would like to add any constructive criticism/advice/actual discussion of this post, go for it. If you would prefer to be ironic and post a troll-y reply, knock yourself out. Just know that I will be ignoring all replies that don't include the phrase "banana hammock." That'll take care of the tl;dr types...



That is all.

Oh, and Jay Leno is a douche.
(Exempt OH WOW, VICODIN, Sun 9 May 2010, 1:55, 1 reply)

blimey.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sun 9 May 2010, 10:59, closed)