Shovel the dog.
My friend has a cousin that has, he claims, owned over 20 motorbikes in his less than 30 year life span. This is not out of want but neccessity as the stupid clout is lethal on the things and his family are still amazed he walks the planet.

The best story of all the crashes was were he had just went out for celebratory drinks with mates on purchasing his newest deathtrap. Suitably tanked he decided it was time to mount his two wheeled chariot and take her home. Sober he has very little sense and with drink the tit drove with abandon down the backroads of his little village.

Until he hit a sleeping dog outside a farm, slicing it effectivley in two and skidding another forty or fifty metres to land in a mangled heap, still alive. Apparently the resident farmer had witnessed this and promptly fetched his shovel. Walking outside he grimly surveyed the scene before slopping his dog into the ditch, walking back inside and slamming the door.

It was about another 20 minutes before a car came upon the hapless cousin and another thirty before the ambulance arrived.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Sat 6 Jul 2013, 11:50, 4 replies)

Why the fuck was the dog asleep in the middle of the road?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 6 Jul 2013, 12:54, closed)

From my memory of the highway code,
it doesn't actually say you shouldn't sleep in the road.
(speedevil, Sat 6 Jul 2013, 13:38, closed)

This was a rural
area and from what I was told had the cousin been sober he would have remembered the dog always slept there. Added on top of this the fact that had he been going at a safe speed he would have manouvered around the obstacle with ease.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Sat 6 Jul 2013, 15:11, closed)

The farmer should have used that shovel on the fuckwit's head.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 7 Jul 2013, 14:24, closed)