i'm surprised i didn't get bullied more
being as i was fat, intelligent and wore glasses. there were 3 occasions when bullies might have got the better of me, but growing up in a house with a psychotic older brother prepares you well.

1st year seniors:
angela. bitch and a half. she was a sixth former and decided she didn't like me. as her repertoire mostly consisted of name-calling, i tended to ignore her.
one day, however, she saw her chance: i was standing in front of her on the school bus and, due to my lardiness, was wearing an elasticated skirt. she ran up behind me and pulled it down, revealing my days-of-the-week knickers for all to see. now, i'm generally slow to anger, but this just pissed on my biscuits. i completely lost it, jumped on her back and punched her repeatedly in the head. after a few minutes, my elder sister dragged me off her and made me sit upstairs. i found out that night that angela had pulled my sister up and told her to "keep that fucking maniac away" from her.

2nd year seniors:
can't remember her name, but she'd been digging at me for months. finally, she stepped over the line: she insulted my eyes. after many years of surgery by the brilliant chaps at moorfield's eye hospital, i was(and still am) a little over-sensitive about my peepers. i set to her with a large jelly-bean bag, after wedging her between a filing cabinet and the wall. needless to say, i never had any trouble from her again.

4th year seniors:
marian. she looked like a man with a handbag. she was the undisputed ruler of the playground, with a very nasty attitude and an evil temper. we'd had plenty of arguments, but they'd never escalated into anything physical.
one day, the school bus was late. we were all hot, tired and irritable. tempers were very much frayed. when the bus finally arrived, we all piled on. there were far too many of us, so the bus driver told some of us we'd have to get off. i was one of those, i'd been right by the driver, just about to pay, when i was evicted from the bus. the driver then told us to wait for the next bus, closed the door and took off.
"that was your fault" piped up atilla the schoolgirl. "the driver took one look at you and thought 'i'm not letting that fat bitch on my bus!'"
"fuck off, marian," i replied, "i'm not in the mood."
she, however, was in the mood. she began poking me in the back, then shoving me. ii told her to stop, but she just grinned her bulldog-licking-piss-off-a-nettle grin and asked "what are you going to do about it?" and continued shoving me. i didn't want to fight her, as i'd seen the damage she'd done to several of my mates. after a few minutes, though, i snapped. turning to face her, i snarled "if you don't fuck off and stop shoving me, i'm going to fucking lamp you one!" obviously she didn't believe me, as she immediately shoved me again. i let out a yell and punched her as hard as i could. she hit the floor like an ugly sack of shit. seizing my chance, i jumped on her and beat the living shit out of her. it took her cousin and 2 of his mates to separate us, but by god, i felt better. she'd been asking for it for years and she'd finally got it.
i was 2 more years in that school, nobody ever bothered me again.

if you're being bullied, i hope it's a lad doing it, they're nowhere near as vicious as girls.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 13 May 2009, 15:35, Reply)