Towards the end of secondary school
I never really got bullied, as a few run ins and punch ups with bullies had somehow gained me some respect with the popular crowd. I was friendly to them, even though I thought they were twunts.

Anyhow, once such incident which gained this approval and subsequent lack of bullying for my last years at school, went thusly...

~~wavy lines~~

In year 8 I went through a period of bullying, courtesy of a lad 3 years my senior. Let's call him Corey Cockface. He lived near me, and thus we shared the same route home. One day I was walking home, when it began with the usual name calling, pushing and shoving and general 'make Sir General's life a misery'. I tried altering my walk home. Corey Cockface altered his route. He actually went out of his way to increase his walk home by 20 minutes so he could improve his own ego by making me look small.

Anyway, this went on for a few weeks in a non-violent way. I was pissed off, but kept my cool. Until one day, Corey Cockface decides it would be a good idea to slam a strawberry yoghurt into my face, covering me and making my eyes water. I saw red (well, pink with red bits actually). I grabbed Corey Cockface by the tie, pulled his head down and drop kicked his face, sending him falling backwards into someone's rose bush. I took great delight in watching his shocked mug turn to horror and pain, as he writhed around in the thorns, scratching his arms, neck, face and legs. I laughed at him hysterically and walked on, paving the way for 3 further years of pleasant, bully free walks home. If someone tries to tell you that violence solves nothing, they are talking bollocks. It does.

Anyhoo, fast forward a few years. I suppose I was 17 or so, was out on a night with some friends, underage drinking in a local dive. Who was there but Corey Cockface and a new girlfriend of his. I tried ignoring them, as I really had no time for the twat (am not a grudgebearer but somehow childhood events are different). Corey Cockface came up to me and offered to buy me a pint. Well, who could refuse that? He and his girlfriend moved over to join us, and copious amount of beer were consumed.

I had been getting along rather well with Corey Cockface's girlfriend, and towards the end of the night, yours truly and Corey Cockface's lady stepped out for a cigarette. To cut a long story short, dear reader, I ended up fucking her against a wall in a dark corner of the beer garden, after which we both returned to the pub slightly flustered and carried on as if nothing had happened. I was nervous, in fact I was sweating like a blind lesbian in a fishmongers.

So to summarise, my revenge was complete. I'm not a vindictive character, but I really am chuffed with that. Not so much the fact that I administered his lady a 5 minute injection of veiny throbbing goodness, but the fact I (and she) will always have one over on him.

As far as I know, Corey Cockface is still with his girlfriend to this day, I think they may even be engaged. Hehehe....
(Sir General ***WoW***, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, 3 replies)

You don't
own a Honda Accord, do you?

Just curious
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:54, closed)

No,
'fraid not. How come?
(Sir General ***WoW***, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:23, closed)

Just a hunch
*shrugs*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:27, closed)