Lack of funnies again.
I used to teach in Primary schools until I fell out with a headteacher who refused to support her staff in front of pushy parents, but that's another story.

My first year of teaching I had a class of five and six year olds; most of them were lovely kids who came from typical middle class homes and hadn't a care in the world.

One child in the class, Adam, was from a large family known to be 'troublesome' but still very much middle class - mother worked in an office in town, father was no longer on the scene due to mental health problems. Adam was probably the brightest child in the class - he was also the worst bully the school had ever seen.

Each morning when the children trooped into class I'd have to ask Adam if he'd brought anything to school 'by accident' - he'd turn out his pockets and hand over chains, screw drivers, nails and similar items.
He was disruptive throughout the day - calling out, jumping up and down, running across the room hitting others as he went - a royal pain in the arse...unless he had one-to-one adult attention, then he'd outshine most of the class in his academic achievements.

Nonetheless, I would loved to have had him out of my classroom so my job would have been easier and the rest of the class could get some peace.

Things came to a head when Adam decided to turn his attention on Sam - Sam was a year older than the rest of the class but because he'd had open-heart surgery as a toddler and his chest wall remained somehow stapled so surgeons could reopen his chest if necessary. He was very delicate, small and quite slow in all areas - but he was very much a fighter and a happy little soul to boot.

Adam, in his slightly twisted way, wanted to be Sam's friend. Unfortunately this involved intimidation - both physical and mental. They were kept separate during class time but the real problems surfaced during playtime.

One lunch break Adam cornered Sam away from the watchful eyes of the midday supervisors (dinnerladies) and punched him squarely in the stomach.

Two inches higher and he'd have broken through the staples and in all probability killed Sam.


At 3.15 when the parents arrived to collect their children Sam's parents were sent off to see the headteacher (not the same one I had a run-in with - this one did support stuff).


I'd already had discussions with my head of department about Adam - in fact we'd had numerous visits from the Educational psychologist who always suggested rather wishy-washy ideas and never saw Adam acting up because Adam was extremely clever and realised the Ed.Psych was there to see him! My HoD was adamant that *all* the children had the right to come to school and remain safe and if Adam couldn't adapt his behaviour then he should leave the school for the sake of the others. The Ed.Psych was adamant that the problem was minimal and we should be able to contain it within the classroom.
All the staff were instructed to keep detailed notes logging all incidents in which he was involved in order to provide evidence for further panel meetings with various outside agencies.

So the educational establishment bureaucracy was on this one.

I was left to call in Adam's mum.

She was a tall attractive woman in her mid forties, very smartly dressed and clearly a strong character. When I called her over as I held Adam's hand her face fell and she began to give him filthy looks. She sighed as she reached me and asked what he'd done now. Rather than discuss it in the playground I led her into the classroom.

As she and her son followed me she shoved him into the building and said, "Why the hell can't you stay out of trouble? Who've you been hitting now?"

At that point I had a considerable amount of sympathy with her - this child was a little shit for most of the time.

When we got into my classroom before I'd even begun to tell her what he'd done she launched into how he was a 'bad'un' right from being tiny.

Apparently at the age of around 2 he'd just stopped wearing nappies. She'd washed the kitchen floor and to 'spite' her he wet himself, the pee going all over the clean floor. To 'teach him a lesson' she'd rubbed his nose in it - splitting his lip in the process. He'd got up, no tears, wiped his lip and asked if he could go and watch television.

She told me this to make me feel further sympathy with her.

To be fair, she'd not had an easy time bringing up her family of four or five children with the added pressure of her partner's mental health problems.
All the children were clean and well presented.
She worked part-time and looked after herself - this was no scummy mummy.
Bringing up bright challenging children on your own is hard (not that I realised it at the time - I didn't have kids then).

But rubbing a two year old's nose in pee to teach them a lesson?

Hardly any wonder he'd gone on to pick on someone else smaller and weaker than himself.

That said, not all abused children bully others.


So what's the point of my post?

None of it is black and white.

Sam was blameless - illness had caused his status as ideal bully fodder.

Adam was a thoroughly screwed up kid who, with the right type of care and attention could have gone either way.

Adam's mum was a thoroughly screwed up adult who was at the end of her tether - but she was an adult and therefore there was no excuse for her behaviour.

I don't have the answer.

I can say honestly that when I came across bullying - and it's in *all* schools - I tried to prevent it but like any form of abuse it goes on in secret, hidden away in locker rooms, dark corners, whispers, sly punches - we all know the drill.

How bloody depressing.

Roll on Thursday and a new qotw.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:26, 5 replies)

Unfortunately
The next QOTW is 'secure schools'...


*legs it*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:38, closed)

*chases*
*demands lunch money*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:08, closed)

Great post
My dad is a headteacher at a rough primary school in Walsall so I can sympathise and relate to all of this.

It really is a symptom of a one size fits all education system which lets down children on both ends of the scale - the brightest ones and the ones with learning of behaviour difficulties (sounds like Adam was a bit of both). This in turn disrupts those in the middle.

I don't have a solution - it's a really difficult problem, particularly at Primary level.

Don't get me started on pushy parents.
(jackhiggs no longer a v!rgin as of..., Mon 18 May 2009, 17:51, closed)

Yep.
And just one of the reasons I no longer teach in schools.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:07, closed)

I liked this
It made me feel less alone.
(egomonkey, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:36, closed)