Quotes from tourists on the London open-top buses.
These should all be asked in an American accent (obviously).

Excuse me sir. Which side of the river is tower bridge on?

Excuse me sir. The queen mom, she's older than the queen, right?

Excuse me sir. Why do the traffic signals make that noise?
It's so blind people know when the traffic has stopped.
Gee! In the states we don't even let blind people drive.

(While travelling through Blackfriars underpass) Excuse me sir. Is this where Lady Di had the accident?
( TriedItOnceAndDidn'tLikeIt made you lose the game on, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 16:05, 3 replies)

haha, brilliant!

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 16:14, closed)

I was In Edinburgh
With Mrs Duck, we were sitting in the park off princes street deciding what to do next

when an American gent asked us "Excuse me is that the castle" pointing to the fucking big castley shaped thing on top of the hill
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 16:15, closed)

Click!
Tourists in London - please, please don't bother me... I'll keep sending you on the 29 bus to Wood Green to dodge bullets instead of getting you to Trafalgar Square if you continue to be rude to me...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 0:41, closed)