bus trips in East London, and Mango Land
I write some bits and pieces for friends to keep them amused at work, and one of my topics is quite often bus trips. It all started when the tube was down last summer...

I’ve been busy riding buses around East London this week following all the tube cancellations. I love buses. On my trip from Walthamstow into Canning Town (and what a delightful place that is!) I’ve noticed many things that I found interesting - firstly, just how many kebab shops do we need in one area? I didn’t even realise there were that many in the UK… and I have a few questions about what I saw on my bus adventure:

1. To the owner of ‘Mango World’ - what possessed you to open up a food shop specialising in (and only stocking?) mangoes? How did you pitch this idea to your bank manager? Are there really that many mango addicts in E15?

2. K.A.K Mortgages - did anyone raise any concerns over the office name or is it only me that finds this amusing?

3. As above, but for the owner of Meb-Boob (it appears to be a travel agency.)

4. Shoe 4 U - is this a bad grammatical mistake or do you really only sell shoes in the singular - a specialist shop for people with one leg?

5. Chevy Chase pub - is it named after the actor? I like the ‘Three Amigos’ too, but not that much…

From there, an obsession grew amongst my friends for Mango World, so this theme continued... unfortunately the shop closed a few months later (or so I thought), leading to this recent update:

Regular readers will recall that, tragically, last year Mango Land of Walthamstow ceased trading*. It was a sad day everyone, and one that has cast a shadow over us all (although those wishing to buy cheap mangoes in bulk more than others) ever since…

But - what is this?! - are we seeing those much promised green shoots of recovery on the very pavements of E17 which so cruelly took the wonder that is Mango Land (previously Mango World) from our lives? Yes, dear friends and fruit lovers, like a fantastical green and yellow phoenix which also provides at least one of our five a day, I can hereby announce that MANGO LAND HAS RETURNED!

Brave fruit-based retailer, we salute you and your recession-battling ways, for surely you have provided what we embittered Londoners need - hope for the future (and mangoes).

I can report that Mango Land is back in the same spot in Walthamstow, ready and waiting for anyone wishing to purchase one (or perhaps a discounted six box) mangoes. They have new tarpaulin signage and have set up their wares outside the shop, using the inside of the premises to store crates upon crates of - you guessed it - mangoes! (I peeked inside)

You may also be interested to know that - possibly due to their bank manager’s advice - they have decided to diversify. Being creative mango-selling types, they have resisted what many would see as traditional routes open to fruit retailers and instead of branching out into, say, the avocado market or the melon business, they are now stocking clocks in the shape of wheels. Yes, they are now possibly the world's only mango and novelty wheel clock sellers on the whole of the planet. This makes me very happy.

*OK, so it is entirely possible that Mango Land did not actually go bust as first thought but instead that they only ever open during mango season, but that doesn’t sound as dramatic…
( hanabanana, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 16:42, 5 replies)

it takes quite a lot to make me REALLY laugh out loud
But you and your fruit-related japery have achieved it. Thank you
( seeballs Doo da da doo da da doo da da doo, da da doo da do, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 19:04, closed)

Hilarious
*click*
(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 23:01, closed)

What's the problem?
If you were a connoisseur of mangos, as I consider myself to be, this place sounds a fucking excellent idea.

You see, PROPER mangos are a delicate, exquisite fruit, which are in season between May and July-ish. I'm not talking about those fucking disgusting Tommy Atkins pieces of shit you get from Tesco all year round, that are about the size of a watermelon and about as tasty. They are closer to the fucking potato than a REAL mango.

No, I'm talking about the Alphonso(sometimes called Hapoos), the true King of Mangos, grown in Maharashtra in India. These fruits are small, a little larger than a tennis ball, and golden when ripe. The flesh is sweet and oh so soft, it really does melt in your mouth, and the juice will run down your chin like erm, a very runny juice or something.
In this weather, NOTHING beats a ripe Alphonso on ice, just slice off the top and squeeze the fruit gently down your throat. Fucking sublime.

Try also varieties like Kesar, Chausan and Sindri, they are similar, but not quite as awesome as the Alphonso. Pakistani varieties come into season slightly later than the Indian ones, if you want to start a massive argument, go to your local Asian shop and tell the owner that Indian/Paki mangos are better, depending on where he comes from! They are fiercely loyal to their own variety from their homeland locale, and will go out of their way to get you the best mango at the wholsesalers then, to prove they are right!

By mid August, the mangos from the sub-continent are nearly done, so places like Mango Land will obviously feel a serious downturn.A bit like the Fireworks Direct shops that start to shut down after November 5th. Yes, there are other varieties of mango, but the proper types can only be bought between April and August-ish - remember when all fruit was seasonal? I don't give a toss if Tesco start producing them under poly-tunnels, I'll only buy seasonal mango.

If you enjoy mango, get down to your Mango Land and try some NOW, you'll never regret it. In fact, you might become a sad cunt like me, trooping down to the Asian shops to buy 3 or 4 boxes a week like the man from Del fucking Monte. I wish such an outlet was close to me, I'm at the mercy of the shopkeepers who might select shit fruit - I know more about them than they do. They only buy 20 or so boxes a week, I have to make sure I'm there when the delivery comes so I can elbow old Indian ladies out of the way to get my stash. Mango Land sounds like heaven.

One day I'm going to go to India and buy an Alphonso plantation..


I eat so many that I dare not fart in the Summer in case my mango-fied guts collapse. But, you know what? It's worth it!!
(Rsoles, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 12:14, closed)

Thanks for the info...
Wow - you really like mangoes!

I will go buy a box of Mango Land's finest Alphonos on your recommendation...

H
( hanabanana, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:21, closed)

This is a truly
wonderful read. Cheers and click!
( SpankyHanky, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 13:58, closed)