Eye Contact Leading to a (Very) Brief Physical Relationship
Trundling down from Tufnell Park to Kings Cross on the 390 on my way to the slave pit I also call my office, I catch the eye of a rather attractive young city-type girl in her posh business suit that makes her tits look absolutely fucking edible. Two things go through my mind: 1) God, that’s a fine pair of jugs. 2) Hmmm, nice suit – she’s probably fucking minted too.

Eye contact ensues.

She’s sat down, I’m stood up in the aisle. I attempt to arch my back surreptitiously to make my package appear bigger. I suck my gut in, and try to look all cool, intelligent, and sexy using only the awsome power of my big brown puppy dog eyes. This obviously doesn’t work. She starts gazing blankly out the window.

Buggerit!!!

The 390 breaks a few bones, dislocates a few hips as it hammers down York Way, going round the back of St. Pancras. We get to the shite wanky newly built train station. The girl gets up and makes eye contact with me again. She SMILES and plays a little with her long golden hair!!! Fuck, yes!!! Houston, we have a potential expedition to planet ejaculation!!! She gets off the bus. With my cock on full alert I follow – I was getting off at St Pancras anyway.

I stroll along side her, go to speak. Don’t realise some cunty cock sucking wankstain has left a half eaten cheeseburger right in my path. As this lovely vision of lovely loveliness (like the girl off the Timotei ad, or a really high class prostitute) stops and turns, obviously wanting me to say: “Hi,” I slip on the burger, go arse over tit and end up

...head butting her straight in the face...

I was fucking livid (she wasn’t very happy either)...
( SpankyHanky, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 17:20, 4 replies)

Same here...
...only it was a lamp post.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 18:56, closed)

but....but....but.....
...wait!

How can one of your tales end *without* ejaculation, Spanky? I am left feeling all unspent! waaaah!
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:46, closed)

or vomit, or
poop. piss, blood or some other human bodily fluid??

Where is the real Spanky and what has this impostor done with him?
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 17:16, closed)

You get my bus.
That is all.
( kikilookeylikey, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 19:10, closed)