"In the 'Med'..."
My beloved family often rib me about the phrase "In the Med...' as I must have used it approximately 5,000 times after returning home from the school 'activities week' coach trip to the Mediterranean, and more specifically the Cap d'Agde region.

As us 40 or so 15 year olds set off from Suffolk on the pretty much 24 hour trip, excitement was at fever pitch. Sadly, this excitment waned even quicker than the cheaparse Silver seal batteries my Mum had bought for my shitty Alba 'walkmaster' personal cassette player. It was hot, the A/C wasn't working, and it was only funny to take the seat headrest covers off and 'suffocate' each other with them for so long.

Spraying Lynx on each others various body parts and setting fire to it also faded fast in appeal.

Fortunately for me I was sat just opposite the 'Beale' twins - a pair of mightily norked girls who wouldn't have looked out of place in Baywatch. Even better we were going on a watersports holiday so they had both decided to get dressed that morning wearing cutoff jeans and a bikini top. Not the same one I hasten to add. They were not from Siam.

The sight of their jiggling top bollocks on a bumpy coach ride for hours on end, plus the fact I ALWAYS used to get a boner on the bus to school even without such provocation, multiplied by the fact I was 15, meant I had the raging horn the whole journey and there was nothing I could do about it....

Oh, except there was one of those 'death chambers' that is the bus lavatory at the back....

We all knew the risks of going in there, you could come back covered in piss after the driver 'accidentally on purpose' had to brake suddenly, and your name would be 'PissPants' for the following week 'In the Med...'

Only, I wasn't going for a piss - I was just going to knock one out. No danger there surely?

I soon settled into mental images of getting both twins to help me 'pitch my tent' and as a 15 yr old it didn't take long before I was I was about to seal the deal. Unfortunately, at the moment I was about to crash my filthy yoghurt truck, the driver was trying hard not to hit an ice cream van and slammed on the brakes sending me crashing forward into the door. The 'lock' broke and the door flew open....

Cue every kid on the bus turn to see me, cock in hand with a dollop of my finest work in my lap.

Being called 'BusBoner' or rhymes involving "bishop bashing on the bus boy" for a week isn't much better than 'PissPants' I have to say.

However, it must have impressed somewhat as I had one of the twins sneak in and join me for a quick repeat performance 2 days later (minus the audience and door breaking). Although perhaps she was just trying to make sure I'd washed all the spunk out of my pubes.

I'll bore you with more "In the Med..." stories later, as there are many, including the one where the bus broke down mysteriously just before it was due to take us home and we got to stay for 3 extra days while they sorted out a replacement....RESULT!

Apologies for length, but it can bust doors down!
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:42, 1 reply)

You get a click....
just for "bishop bashing on the bus boy"....15 year old are so original.
(syz, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:44, closed)