Kind of a bus. But it's a train. Still smelly and full of cretins however.
So yeah.

Sat on the single carriage train to Newark one day many years back listening to my CD player or whatever, and kind of not knowing how loud I was breathing or sniffing. The headphone paranoia. So I was clearing my phlegmy throat a little bit and suddenly a huge reflexive cough sent a Creme Egg filling sized lung spaff flying across towards the window, splattering just above head height where it was visible to the rest of the passengers on the carriage. The flying bit was amazing, because I saw it in true slow motion as it spun around bolus-like, one end impacting the window before the elastically-attached other half swung round. I have no idea of the noise unfortunately.

So yeah. I took off my headphones and had a look around to see if anyone had noticed. No-one was making obvious signs of having noticed it (whether they had or not) but there was still 20 or so people within gandering range. Someone surely must have seen it. Or had they?

The choice was difficult. Do I ignore it? Do I acknowledge it and lay claim to the gooey bubbly oesophageal jizzball? I knew full well that I couldn't wipe it off without having to stand up, drawing attention to my actions especially as it would smear horribly and I didn't have anything to wipe it off with except for my ticket.

So I pressed my ticket over the gooey blob, applying plenty of pressure to make sure it stuck whilst rotating it back and forth. I didn't want it falling off now, did I? Success.
(Klangtarnflatchslapper looks just like a Telefunken U-47, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:25, Reply)