school busses
they were brilliant, weren't they?
Things that happened in our school included:

*Back seat ripped up, set on fire then thrown out the emergency window on the upstairs, whilst going 70 miles per hour down the bypass.

*Year 7 picked up by ankles and dropped down the stair well - Kid in coma, bully in jail. The kid was fine after like 2 days.

*Last day of the year. Every tie was taken and tied into a mega tie which would be dangled outside the upstairs emergency window. One year a kid tried to grab the tie, being a smart arse, ended up being dragged down the road with his bag torn to pieces (better that than his cock, I say.)

*Dolly Beads they came on stretchy string and could be fired quite quickly at each other. Vision lost in 1 eye.

*Tunnel of death** which resulted in one poor chap having the tip of his bellend clipped, upon later inspection his foreskin had been split off at the end.

*Stanley Stiletto - a 6ft 5 crossdressing scouse bus driver who used to sit at the back of the bus with the six formers asking about how our days were whilst flashing his fishnet stockings and short skirt. I've no problems with that, but at 4pm on a friday afternoon I want to go to the pub, not talk.

** Walk down the aisle of the bus while people kick the shit out of you. Phwoar. Boys were hard and girls were moist at the sight of it.
(Hitler's other ball. R soul., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:34, 2 replies)

That's a very nice story sir
Some interesting points you make there. You have a nice day now!

...actually sir, just one more thing....

You stated that the bus was doing 70mph. I could be wrong and I often am sir, but aren't buses limited to 56mph by law?

Then there's the puzzle of this year 7 kid who recovered from a coma after just 2 days. Are you sure he was in a coma?

Are you still with me here sir?

The other kid who grabbed the mega tie sir... why didn't he let go of it? Sounds like a strange thing to do sir, if you ask me.

I'm intrigued by the tunnel of death sir. It sounds fascinating, but I can't for the life of me think how it led to such an unusual injury.
(Detective Columbo needs to ask you just one more thing..., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 6:00, closed)

Buses
are now, I believe, limited to 100km/h (62 mph) under European law. However, this was introduced relatively recently, so it's possible that our correspondent went to school quite a while back. Legally they are allowed to travel at 70mph on a motorway in the UK, if unrestricted.

Sounds a bit like my school bus, actually. Although there's no way the buses we used to get would be capable of anything approaching 70mph!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 8:38, closed)