Lincoln, The Lunatic who should be avoided on buses.
First let me tell you about Lincoln. He is a six foot seven, thin as you like black guy with the scariest bulging eyes you will ever encounter, think of a young Samuel L Jackson wanking like a amphetamine abuser on a come down with a gun pointed at his cock daring it not to cum..

When Lincoln would talk to you he would get within an inch of your nose and look directly at you while talking extremely loudly. While never actually giving a thought for what you were saying, he would go off on random tangents about the possibility of Smurfs being higher beings and how chicken and chip shops are fronts for Peado rings. Sexually and socially inappropriate comments were also his forte. Got the Picture.... good, lets continue with the story.

So one sunny morning, Lincoln bowls into work with an erratic and suspicious smile that is not familiar to him at half six in the morning. He would usually kick something as hard as he can and shout random abuse but this morning his cheery disposition and shit-eating grin seems slightly scary. With a due sense of dread and curiosity I ask him why he is so happy (I was expecting him to say something along the lines of that he had just fire bombed a Macdonald's or he had seen a young child get run over).

He goes onto to retort a rather strange experience on the bus that morning involving a young lady. Lincoln told me he jumped on the bus as usual; this would probably involve telling many members of the public to fuck off, kicking grannies out of the priority seats, telling young mothers with children that they were bleeding our society dry and then take his seat. After a few stops he said that a rather pretty girl got on the bus and sat next to him, not only did this surprise him because there were plenty of seats available (and me because he always has a look that suggests he hides in buses at night breathing heavily while scoping out a potential victim serial) but also said hello if not quite loudly. This must have excited Lincoln because not only was she pretty, she sat next to him and was on his space invading ear drum busting talking level. He went on to tell me that she was not very talkative but nodded responsively to his general ranting and wild hand gestures.

So knowing his stop was coming up soon he said he tried to get her number. After several minutes of this girl simply nodding her head to his vain attempts at getting her number Lincoln gets out his own phone and started to wildly tap his phone onto it. The now probably very frightened girl gets out her phone and hands it over to Lincoln. He told me he rang his own phone on her phone to get her number and then gave it back and then said his goodbyes and got off at the next stop.

Still busting with happiness he told me that he was going to ring her later after work. But being the picky twat that he can be, he said she was a little rude as she had these funny skin coloured headphones in both ears and never took them out while talking to him.

Oh dear Lincoln... I think you may have given a poor deaf girl the scariest bus journey of her life.

If you were that deaf girl back in the summer of 1999 and came across this nutter you have my sympathies. You must have been petrified.
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 18:59, 2 replies)

Point Of Order

If she was deaf, why did she have a phone?

Just curious

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 7:17, closed)

.
Deaf people can text too!
(Jester_, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 9:33, closed)