Sir Arthur Conan Doyles rejected first draft.
Your theme this week reminds me of a story from the time before I moved in with my wife Sarah, and still lived with my good friend Mr Sherlock Holmes.

We had just finished the Mysterious Case of the Mysterious Case and the Adventure of the Purple Headed Spitting Snake of Sri Lanka, both of which I have previously regaled you with.

Holmes had spent the morning alone in his room fiddling, and came out about lunchtime to play on his violin. For some reason this morning he looked exactly like Robert Downey Junior.

"I bored" exclaimed Holmes and then walked over to the window to observe the street "However I believe that a tall darked haired gentleman with a slight limp dressed in a butlers outfit is about to offer us a job"

"Amazing Holmes" I said, how can you tell.

"Because he is standing right in front of us you twat" replied Holmes

"Good Afternoon Sirs" said the butler. "My name is Jeeves and I have come on behalf of my master Lord Baskerville. I believe his life is in danger."

Of course Holmes and I followed immedietly stopping only for Lunch, Dinner, take in a matinee performance at Mrs Miggins Music Hall experience, and a two week holiday in Skegness.

We sat on the first train out of Victoria station, with the journey to the west country planned to take only 5 hours.

"Watson, I hear that Earl Richard of Branson has plans to improve the service so that with in only 100 years it will take twice as long"

"Amazing Holmes" I replied "And are you currently wearing that Nuns outfit as a disguise against your arch nemesis Morriarty."

"No I just like the way it feels" He replied.

We arrived at Dusk that evening at Baskerville Hall. Where we were introduced to the 16th Lord Baskerville.

"Good evening your lordship" Said Holmes. "I can tell that you have recently been on a shooting holiday in the Dordogne, spent the last two days in the bathroom with a severe stomach infection and have secret desires for your housemaid."

"Amazing Holmes. How do you do that" I asked him

"Elementary my dear Watson. I just nicked his diary".

However at that point we were interupted by a demonic howl from outside.

The Lord ran and hid under the sofa, whilst Holmes, the butler and myself ran outside.

"His lordship is being terrorised by some evil being from beyond the grave" Explained the butler. "Either as part of a historic family curse or an incredibly convoluted plot to steal his family fortune from a long lost ancestor."

Then through the mist came two piercing red lights, and a sound like a revving diesel engine.

"Goodness Holmes. It looks like a possessed american style coach for going across country."
"No Watson. It is worse than that. It is the Greyhound of the Baskervilles".
(lordofallhesurveys How appropriate you fight like a cow, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:02, 11 replies)

Think
you've had too much sun, mate. This is fucking awful, and not in a good way.
(stonethecrows is badder than a bad thing on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:04, closed)

Stop being a cunt...
I liked this! Ok, I've had too much sun this morning, but I still liked it.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:04, closed)

^This
It was well written, amusing and a pleasant diversion from the rest of the posts.

What's not to like?
( chart cat has an itch, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 6:32, closed)

To be fair...
...it's just a shaggy dog story really. lulz.
( rjmrjm, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:16, closed)

Hey
every dog has its day.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:21, closed)

if that joke was a dog
it'd want shooting. :(
(tjn whizzing on the electric fence of life, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:52, closed)

Fuck
Off
(Seebeedee, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:31, closed)

Am I missing some serious insult here?
It raised a smile on my face for being silly and having both Sherlock AND the mighty Jeeves in it. Yay for good characters! =p
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 13:53, closed)

thanks to Spanky and Vix0r
Yes its a bad pun, but surely reading just the first few lines tells you its going to be something like that.

Next time I will just pretend I was in the film Speed. ! :)
(lordofallhesurveys How appropriate you fight like a cow, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:06, closed)

*Click*
I liked it too, particularly the mysterious case of the mysterious case...
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 14:38, closed)

What's not to like?
Made me laugh, love Sherlock, and, best of all didn't spot the Greyhound bit coming. (No I didn't really believe it was actually a real account of Sherlock and Watson. Honestly. I really didn't).
(Dog Bum Cute, wiggly, has scary anal glands, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 16:43, closed)