The other day i had a job interview...
...so I donned my Hugo Boss suit which only comes out on the rarest of occasions and set out for the interview looking uber-business like. Now I cant drive due to the man not giving me a licence for reasons i wont go into. So anyhow, I hop on the bus and zone out as you do. About halfway into town (i travel up wilmslow road, manchester, the busiest bus route in europe apparently) and as we stop at the university bus stop i see a dissheveled grey haired old man badgering two pretty young women who look absoloutly terrified! The door opens and i manage to catch him say 'well just wanted to tell you you have nice legs, are you not getting on? well see ya!'. I was amused until he payed his fare, ruefully commented to the driver 'They ignored me, its what people do' and turned toward me to take his seat: It was a lad I knew from high school, for the purposes of this story we shall call him Dale Dunbar (for that was his name, its ok he changed it to something else for fuck-knows what reason). Hes only a year older than me and he looked like a homeless person in his 50's!!! I immediately turned and gazed out of the window and luckily he either didnt recognise me or most probably didnt want to talk to me as much as i didnt want to talk to him.* He sat further behind me and started babbling as if having a conversation with somebody called 'rachel' even though there was nobody there ("I'll become a builder rach, its what you do to earn money in manchester, become a builder". Another encounter I had with the past was when I was temping at the company that deals with bus passes. He requested a concessionary fare pass due to disability. In the box where you were supposed to put what disability you have he wrote 'Women Problems'. I feel bad I wasnt always nice to him.
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* back at school years ago, we had just finished playing football when dale realised he'd left his jumper (yes it was a goalpost) at the other end of the pitch. As he collected it he threw his head back swigging at a large fizzy-drink bottle full of water. Just for the why-the-fuck-not-ness of it i hoofed the ball high in the air hoping that it would land right on the end of the bottle but realising the chance of it actually happening were very very slim (he was literally at the other end of a near-fullsize football field). The ball, in slow motion rose up in the air, its trajectory was on target and was looking like a good kick. At the apex of its flight, he took a breath, then as the ball began to descend he continued drinking, the ball was still on target! My heart began to rise as i realised that the impossible lob might actually hit him! But I was unprepaired for how perfectly it connected with the bottom of the bottle as it was pointing toward the sky! I whooped with delight as the bottle was rammed down his throat at the same time as he splurted water all over the place, our friends who we were playing football with were in hysterics and amazed at this impossible shot and the walk home was a mixture of incredulity at the shot and hilarity at the expense of poor Dale. I cant help but think that this was possibly the event that turned an old school mate down a dark path that lead into his becoming 'that-weirdo' nobody wants to talk to.
( P3L3 is not my real name., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 1:31, Reply)