I've been there.
It's been me. That voice at the other end of the phone. The person who rang you during your lunch, or just when your boss was away and you were about to start looking for naked ladies on the internet. "Hi, can I talk to..."

I'd graduated in a recession with a bunch of debt, and I was too proud to scrounge off the state and so took the only job I could find; full on, never hang up, cold-call telesales. It was a company which relied upon graduates being a bit naive and not really knowing what real working life is actually like, so they'd work you until you quit. The average member of staff lasted less than three months. I managed a year and a half, and in that time my team of six went through eighteen other people.
I never enjoyed it, but I was in a real financial hole and thought that I had no other choice but to carry on. Eventually, one morning I was talking to my flinty-eyed boss and I realised that I'd rather not get paid than make her another penny, so I walked out and was surprised how quickly I got a proper job.

When the cold-callers ring, generally they're people like I was then - desperate, and a bit ignorant and easily bullied by their bank or their boss. It isn't their fault, not really. Don't give them hell, because all you'll do is make their crap life just that little bit worse. There's something else you can do. Take it to management.
The thing is that my time in telesales hell taught me some useful skills. I'm a whizz at datamining and I'm really, really good at getting to talk to the people I want to talk to - and the people I tend to want to talk to these days are senior managers in cold-call telesales companies.

It's not my job to talk to them. I'm just a bit of a crusader.

Take Toucan Telecoms, for instance. A few years ago, before they got taken out by Pipex, they never stopped ringing me at home to try and get me to transfer my telephone line to them. The first couple of times I politely but firmly declined to the poor chaps on the other end of the line, but after the third of fourth call, I asked to be removed from their database. After they ignored the request and kept right on ringing, I started to get serious.
I dug out the name of their MD (hard to find, but everything is on Google eventually), and rang him. I lied my way past receptionists and secretaries and flat refused to talk to customer services. In the end, I got to talk to him.

"Hallo, this is [name removed] speaking"
"Hi, name, my name is Davy. Nice day, isn't it?"
"It is, Davy, what can I do for you?"
"I'm looking out of the window at the sunshine and thinking 'what a great day!', so I thought I'd ring you up and chat about it."
"Eh?"
"I think there's some clouds on the horizon, though. Might be rain later."
"Davy, can I do anything for you?"
"Well, now you mention it, yes. You see, about three weeks ago I asked your people to take my name off your database and stop ringing me, and they've ignored me and just carried right on ringing. So, here I am, ringing you. I just thought I'd ring you up and waste your time and every time one of your people rings me, I'll do it again. I got past your receptionist and secretary, and I'm really good at getting put through. Your people ring me? I'll ring you. And I will get put through. Every time. I'm pretty good at cold calling."

It was fun, and on the plus side they never rang me again.
(davywavy, Mon 7 Sep 2009, 14:18, 1 reply)

Now...
THAT, I like!

I've had to resort to similar tactics when dealing with some firms, and it does work.

Sometimes, I've had to pay the few quid to get the info from Companies House, but it's a small price to pay.

I rang one up once at home and the bloke's dad answered and started giving him a bollocking along the lines of, "If you want to run a bloody company, then bloody run one properly. If I have one more phone call at home, then you are bloody well going to get a real job..." etc...
(dchurch bah, Mon 7 Sep 2009, 15:38, closed)