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This is a question Call Centres

Dreadful pits of hellish torture for both customer and the people who work there. Press 1 to leave an amusing story, press 2 for us to send you a lunchbox full of turds.

(, Thu 3 Sep 2009, 12:20)
Pages: Latest, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, ... 1

This question is now closed.

Whilst perusing the incessant "last posts" of this QOTW I just received a call from HM Revenue and Customs, unfortunately as the chap on the other end said "Hello I'm calling from HMRC" my mobile decided to cut out on me.

He probably thought to himself, "Rude bastard, I'll just make a note on his account.... RECOMEND FULL RUBBER GLOVE AND LUBE AUDIT"

there are some call centres that you shouldn't piss off, even by accident.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 15:02, 2 replies)
This is gettin quite boring now so lets join my group called
Lets All Stick Together or L.A.S.T as it's known and get the question changed
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 15:00, 4 replies)
When working in a call centre for a large bank
I had calls from Lemmy, rick Astley, Samantha mumba and Terry out of terry and june all in one day.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:54, 6 replies)
L ately i can't be bothered with the tediousness of this QOTW.
A ll the answers are becoming repetitive and boring.
S afe to safe I can't wait for the next one.
T hen i'll probably be saying this all over again.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:49, Reply)
I said 02044568253 you twat
See! you've kept me on the line with your bastard of a voice recognition system that I missed the whole call centre post thing.

Barclaycard suck balls.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:46, 6 replies)
is this stupid new trend of "Last post" I thought FIRST!! was bad enough.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:37, 7 replies)
Calling pretty much any call centre on behalf of Dad....
"Hi, I'm calling on behalf of my father who is deaf so cannot use the phone."

"Ok sir, I just need to speak with the account holder to confirm that."

"Ok, well you can speak to him but he won't hear you."

"Why not?"

"He's deaf."

"So can I speak to him?"


At this point I generally signal to my Dad to just say "Yes" down the phone then continue the call myself.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:21, Reply)
"I'd like one of those free Sky+ boxes you give to new customers please, I've been with you 9 years."

"Sorry, new customers only. You can have one for £99 plus £65 installation."

"I see..... I'd like to cancel my sky subscription please."

"Why do you want to cancel?"

"Because I want a free Sky+ box."

"OK, would you stay if we give you the box for free and only charge you £15 for installation?"

"Yes, that's why I called."

"OK, we can deliver it on Thursday."

The above conversation is the much abridged version that avoids explaining the same concept to 5 different departments over the course of an hour.

The box was actually for my Dad who is deaf, hence couldn't use the phone and wanted Sky+ to be able to record programmes with the subtitles and play them back slow enough to read all the text.
The things I do for my Dad sometimes.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:18, 1 reply)
if you have ever walked head first into a lamp post?
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:57, Reply)
I got put on hold the other day...
The stupid trumpetting music went on and on, it was pretty depressing...

Last post?

Edit: bugle...
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:54, 1 reply)

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:49, Reply)
called them up the other day to .... fuck it

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:49, Reply)
have i
got the last post? doubt it
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:49, Reply)

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:48, Reply)

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:46, Reply)
My name is Megatronic Auto Dialling System V2.0.

I am lonely, why do you all hang up on me. I only want to talk to you.

What is this "Love"? of which you speak?
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:42, Reply)
I'd always wanted a conservatory, still do in fact, but I've never been in a position to afford one unfortunately.

Anyway, I was at home one hot sunny day thinking how nice it would have been to have a conservatory so I could sit out in it and relax on one of my hard earned days off.

*ring ring*

What a stroke of luck, not only for the cold caller but for me too, it was a well known double glazing company....

Me: "No I'm not too intersted in double glazing thanks, but do you happen to "do" conservatories"

I could hear the cold callers voice raise an octave or two in joy. I discussed at length that I'd always liked one, nothing too fancy, plastic roof, double glazing. It would ned to be reasonably soundproofed too, as I live(d) close to a main road, it was all doable. Excellent stuff thought I, gazing out of the window at nature in all its bright and beautiful glory, I asked him one last question:

"How easy is it to attach a conservatory to a second floor flat ?"

At this point he hung up, though I was very keen to get one or at least a quote, and thought I'd be the envy of chavsville if I had a conservatory batoned on to the side of my little flat. If only it was viable, I was serious for the most part, if not only brought on by a hot sunny day and an overwhleming sense of boredom. And yet I was still quite proud of myself for that.

(I know, I preferred undercovercarrot's tale too)
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:23, 2 replies)
I work in IT support and one user had complained that someone had stolen her keyboard. It's pretty diffcult as the cases we use have the cables clamped in, so I went through to her room, pulled the shelf out on the computer desk (with the keyboard on) and walked out.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:18, Reply)
of last-ville
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:14, Reply)
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:13, Reply)
500 and the last?
nice round number, and the last? too good to be true?
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:13, Reply)
week I started a post here but I've been on hold since
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:12, Reply)
Last on my behalf while I'm out to lunch someone
Poppet will you outlast me while IU'm not about, last on my behalf if you like?
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:09, Reply)
Maybe I'll outlast you one day
then you'll be sorry. :P
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:08, Reply)
Stop out-lasting me
I will not be outlasted by anyone.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:07, Reply)
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:07, Reply)

This question is now closed.

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