Never Trust Official Statistics
Due to my wife’s inability to say no to people I returned home one day to find out she had signed our household to a consumer feedback list. This basically meant that every month or so we would get a call from someone in a call centre taking info on our spending habits, views of what we had bought and other inane questions.

What my wife neglected to tell the poor unsuspecting callers was that I am a bit odd and will like to bugger up statistics wherever possible. After my first conversation I had ‘bought’

7 x Afro Combs (I always seem to lose them when trying to get the right look on my hair)
2 x William Shatner Albums
4 x pairs of tights (unsure of colour I just know that they won’t obscure my vision yet made me look unrecognisable to any staff member on next week’s bank job)
3 x Copies of Roy Walkers Autobiography (Does he even have one?)

I have to commend the staff who took these calls, they were happy to oblige my stupid purchases. My guess is that the bosses who monitored all the results were getting similar replies from other participants and started asking for barcodes for any electronically related purchases. Little did they know I had i) too much spare time on my hands ii) Proper copies of a number of shitty DVDs and albums given to me by my friends.

Thanks to my CD collection I happily registered that I had bought the best of Harry Secombe on CD and Saint and Greavsie’s footy trivia DVD and a quick email to my mates got me a list of crappy albums and their matching barcode (Told you I had too much time on my hands). I also seem to get regular updates from mates who are out shopping and see something terrible and will text me the info to ise next time I get a call regarding my shopping habits

Never trust any statistics, even when they are done by an official company they usually have someone like me on the panel telling them that their favourite ice cream is tartar sauce flavour and my preferred meat is tribble.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Mon 7 Sep 2009, 15:18, 2 replies)

You get a click for eating tribble :)
( eXOBeX, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 0:14, closed)

Same here
Click for the tribble...
(AQ, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 16:20, closed)