I hate my bank.
Car insurance quote with HSBC (I can hear you laughing already). Firstly, I'm cold called by a guy who tried to get me to upgrade my account (IE: Pay them to earn interest on my money. Ha!) and then offered car insurance. After being transferred through numerous people, the following conversation ensues:


HSBC: Hello there ElectricMonk, I understand you're looking for a car insurance quote.
Me: Certainly am.
HSBC: Why don't you do it online? You'll get a discount.

This seems a little odd, as I always thought the extra amount of money taken away by the discount paid for call centre staff.

Me: Some dude cold called me then put me through to you.
HSBC: OK, so, when does your current insurance expire?
Me: End of December.
HSBC: I'm sorry, but I can only put in a date from today to 30 days' time into the computer.

Again, strangeness. Online quotes allow you to enter a start date of more than 30 months into the future.

Me: Oh, well, let's just say tomorrow then. It's only a quote, after all.
HSBC: Why would you want to your policy to start tomorrow when you already have insurance?
Me: I don't, this us just a quote, and if it's really good I'll go with you instead.
HSBC: But that could incur cancellation fees from your other insurance company.
Me: Let's just pretend I'm a rich eccentric, then.
HSBC: But why would you want to pay cancellation fees?
Me: I might not have to.
HSBC: Yes you are.
Me: Err, thanks. Can I have a quote now?
HSBC: No.


The moral of this story: Screeching harridans that live within my telephone are employed by HSBC to sell me stuff and then refuse to.
(ElectricMonk is falling awake on, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 22:46, 4 replies)

Hmmm
Ain't that the chuckle-fucking truth.

I went all the way with a car insurance cold call from HSBC only to find that they came in £1300 OVER my current payments.

I had to go for a lie down afterwards.

Then I tried to have a wank but couldn't because there was a small beetle watching me and I was too scared to remove it. It was there for 7 weeks.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 23:04, closed)

A £1300 increase?
FFS! What sort of car is it?

Are you 17 and driving an Aston Martin?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 8:48, closed)

Nah
I didn't have any no claims, I was under 25, and it was for an Audi s6 that was a few years old. Meh
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:24, closed)

I'm clicking that
Just for the last sentence. It made me chuckle.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 9:49, closed)