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"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.

(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
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More Drink Driving

Back in the day when drink driving in the countryside was actually accepted (don't start - drink driving is always fucking stupid) a mate of mine, Sandy, had tanked up in the local and then headed off in his landrover home. As he got to the roundabout that leads out of the village, one of the local police cars dropped onto his tail and started to follow him.

"Fuck Fuck Fuck" thought Sandy.

But nothing happened. The police car just kept 10 meters back and kept following. Eventually Sandy turned off onto the track that lead to his farmhouse (he was, after all, a farmer) and the police car kept going, round a bend, and it was out of view. Sandy breathed huge sigh of relief.

After a few more minutes he pulled up into the farmyard and switched the engine off.


And sitting behind him was the police car with red and blue flashing lights making enough noise to raise the dead. The noise brought out Sandy's father and the police loudspeaker crackled into life.

"Rab? I've made sure the drunken idiot got home safely but if I catch him again he's nicked".

The lights and siren turned off and the police car left. And Sandy was kicked around the farmyard by his extremely irate father..... Which in itself is funny 'cos Sandy weighed in at about 17 stone of solid muscle and his dad could only tip the scales at about 8 stone and only then if he was wringing wet....

(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 14:06, 1 reply)
Parental responsibility and a copper with common sense and a sense of humor? You can tell this is a tale of times gone by...
(, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 14:14, closed)

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