Near death...
Driving along with Little Miss No.5 in the car going home from the hell that is her Reception age ballet class...it is dusk and I am pootling along when I see the lights of what is clearly a large tractor trundling along in the other direction, as it nears I ensure that I ease over away from the white line (narrow roads where I live). What I fail to see is the solid steel bar on the tractor trailer that has slipped loose of its mooring and swung into my lane at chest height a fact I am only aware of when my wing mirror vanishes with accompanying crash bang and wallop. Manage to haul on the anchors and turn around to, ahem, 'discuss the incident politely' with the farmer. He has stopped some 100 yards up the road and is standing under streetlights looking whiter than even the most Dazzed of sheets. It is only when I look at the horror laden mess of my car exterior I see why. A foot closer to the centre line and I would have been decapitated almost certainly crashing the car into the granite walls lining the road and taking my daughter to the pearly gates with me. The shock didn't kick in until I got home. I imagine it was as bad for him when he got the £1000+ bill for my wing mirror and bodywork.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 15:41, 2 replies)

I actually gasped in horror reading that

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Apr 2010, 15:49, closed)

Funnily enough my wife didn't.
She even tried to have a go at me, although I am still not sure why to this day...women! My eleven year old seemed nonplussed too, maybe I am just a t**t that everyone wants dead?
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 23 Apr 2010, 15:52, closed)