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"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.

(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
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I've starred death in the face and told him to fuck right off!
A while ago I found myself on ze Autobahn (as a passenger) in a V8 mental Chevvy; about 450 bhp, rear wheel drive, almost as quick as a 911 in a straight line... great car - provided the driver isn't 18 and hasn't bought his drivers license in the car park at Walmart for $50....

Cue doing well over a ton in the fast lane (with illegal almost bald tyres and dodgey brakes, unknown to me at the time!) when some absolute twunt decides he wants to overtake something 10 miles ahead and pulls out without looking... I'm sure many people have had near death experiences, but this one was very very nearly one for the coroner, not the lovely doctor who saved my life.
The driver (with whom I was underway with) automatically slammed on the brakes, but having very limited driving experience and the above mentioned defects, unsuprisingly lost control of the car. What actually happened in the following few minutes no one really knows. The last thing I remember was seeing the crash barrier almost come through the windshield, and then regaining conciousness on the side of the road amongest small trees and bushes with an emergency doctor cutting my clothes off and putting in various drips/tubes/drugs.

To cut a long story short, despite wearing my seatbelt got shoot through the back window of the car and flew about 20 meters, broke my arm, ankle, hand, wrist, back in 3 places, all of my ribs, and had a chest full of blood (hamopneumathorax for the jargon junkies out there) and nearly had to have my spleen and part of my liver removed.
2 weeks in an induced coma, 5 months in hospital and rehab and somehow I'm almost back to normal! Even managed to pull a rather nice 5,10" blond nurse :D schwiiing!!

The cunt that caused it drove off, nobody stopped to help (apart from the ambulance we'd overtaken 5 minutes beforehand, and to this day I can't recall the driver ever appologising for very nearly killing me...

Moral of the story - never underestimate other drivers, and if you must have and accident, for fucks sake don't have it in the UK! The NHS probably won't be able to save you!

rantage over.
(, Sat 24 Apr 2010, 13:23, Reply)

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