Not me, but a friend
For simplicity, let's call him Bob. After working a long night, Bob was exhausted. While driving home, a raccoon ran out in front of his car and gave a deer-in-the-headlights pose. THWUMP.

So Bob was already feeling bad about the fact that he had just snuffed out the life of a noble raccoon, when he noticed a thwump, thwump, thwump noise coming from the passenger side of his car. Oh great, Mr. Raccoon is stuck on the wheel. Bob pulled into his driveway and decided that he would just go to bed and deal with the roadkill the next morning.

He lay in bed, thinking about the poor raccoon. He hadn't looked at it, but it was probably messy. And Bob didn't want to peel all the parts of its carcass from his car. Maybe there was a car wash in town that would do it - they would get cases like this sometimes, right?

Bob lost sleep trying to plan his day around cleaning raccoon lasagna off his car. The next morning, exhausted, Bob went out to his driveway to survey the damage. As it turns out, there was no raccoon stuck on the car. Instead, the passenger-side seatbelt was hanging out, still thumping against the side of the car in the breeze.
(Exempt OH WOW, VICODIN, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 5:44, Reply)