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"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.

(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
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Finger Trap!
Early 90s, hot summer day in my ancient VW Beetle so I've got the window down, arm out the side, radio on, I'm 18 years old, on my own, all is good with the world.

Get to the M1 so speed up onto the slip road and onto the motorway. Eventually get up to a heady 60mph... oooh it's quite windy now, better crank up the window.

Oh, the airflow is pushing the window out so it won't fit back up into the door properly. So - pull the top of the window in with the fingers of my right hand - the 'trick' being to let go just as the window goes up into the groove.

Oh, the trick isn't working with one hand - I need to use both hands to pull both top corners of the window in. But how to crank the window up when both hands are fully employed? I know, jiggle the window winder with my knee.

Oh, I have now trapped the fingers of both hands in the window due to over-exuberant knee jiggling. Imagine the looks on the faces of overtaking cars as they notice that I have trapped BOTH HANDS in my window AND AM NOW UNABLE TO STEER AT 60MPH ON THE M1. Aaaaaargh!

Dear Reader, it was brown trousers time, and was only remedied by heart-stopping reverse knee jigglage, which probably took a few seconds but at the time seemed to last an eternity of heavy-duty sweating and swearing.

All my cars have had electric windows since then :)
(, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 16:48, 4 replies)
I thought that a ladyfriend absentmindedly ironing out a crease on a shirt that she was wearing was a high point of "cause and effect" failure, but this wins over that!
(, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 18:50, closed)
Very amusing, I may have actually guffawed! Have a click!
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 1:04, closed)
Big click from me.
I want to see this... NOW!
(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 14:04, closed)
For the mental image alone, a folorn face looking out at passing drivers, with both hands stuck... beautiful. Well done on not dying btw!
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 7:20, closed)

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