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"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.

(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
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Mentalist
One day, the girlfriends brother (Dave) - fresh from a divorce and a raging argument about child care - is driving home and truth be told is not paying as much attention as he should. He accidentally pulls out in-front of somebody and they have to put the brakes on, not slam their brakes on mind, they just had to slow down a bit.

The driver behind then blares the horn at him and, looking through the rear view mirror, Dave can see him gesticulating in an animated fashion. The brother-in-law, not in the best state of mind, flips him the bird and drives on. The guy in the other car is now REALLY pissed off and is telling him to pull over for, what can best be described as, fisticuffs; Dave is now shitting himself. He of course isn't going to pull over, he's not a big guy and isn't winning any fights and is conceded to the fact that his day just can't get any worse...

There's a small queue of traffic at the junction in-front of him. Both cars come to a halt and the guy in the car behind is getting out and he is MASSIVE. He's striding over to Dave's car and Dave has nowhere to go except, in a moment of genius, left-field; Dave starts slapping himself repeatedly on both sides of his completely bald head, screaming "I'LL DO IT AGAIN! AHHH! I'LL DO IT AGAIN!" and rocking backwards and forwards. The guy's face was an absolute picture, i've never seen a man go from insane with rage to "fuck this! i'm outta here!" in an instant like it before or since and I don't think I ever will. He ran (actually RAN) back to his car, rounded Dave's car (the junction in-front of which is now clear) and sped off.

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(, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 12:40, Reply)

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