Escort XR3i, Boxing Day.
First post, go easy!

A number of years back I was an impressionable 19 year old, with a similarly aged Escort XR3i Cabriolet. It was Grey, all the gear from the RS Turbo model, a real looker. It cost me £1900, and the same to insure Third Party Fire & Theft. In reality, it was a dog, I used to leave it unlocked at night (and all day at work) in the vain hope that someone would steal it. No-one did.

So, one Boxing Day, I call up my Mate Joe. "Fancy going up to (the closed) Sainsbury's car park and doing some handbrake turns? Coppers won't be working on Boxing Day so we shouldn't have no trouble"
Yeah, comes the reply and ten minutes later we're hurtling through the town at somewhere between 80 and 90 MPH.
So far, so good, as we pull in to Sainsbury's car park- I've slowed down by this point and am about to round the corner by the petrol station when *screeeeeeeechhhhhhh* I lock the front wheels on some diesel and bump up the kerb and smash through their fence.
No worries, think I. It's Boxing Day, no-one will know, we'll just go home and pretend it never happened. I'm just about to put the car in reverse, when *whooo-whoooo-screeeechhhh* a Police Car comes flying into the car park and blocks me in. I get out.
Cop: HOW FUCKING FAST WERE YOU GOING BACK THERE?
Me: Not very, about 30
Cop: I really had to put my foot down to keep up with you
Me (spying plods measly Focus with no Camera/Speed recording gear): Nope, didn't go above 30, I'm sure.
Cop: Whose car is this?
Me: Mine
Cop: What is it?
Me: An Escort
Cop: Whose is it?
Me: Mine
Cop: And What is it?
Me: An Escort
Cop: What type?
Me: XR3i
Cop: Whose is it?
Me: Mine- I just said
Cop: How can you afford it?
Me: I have a job
Cop: Is it yours?
Me (growing tired by now): Yes (the previous questions are repeated a few more times, before he eventually gets the message that yes, it's mine, and it is an Escort.)
Cop: I'm just thinking what I can do you for...
Me: Okay
Cop: I reckon speeding and dangerous driving
Me: I wasn't speeding. I hit some diesel and skidded, it was an accident
Cop: Well I won't do you for dangerous driving, but you'll be up for speeding
Me: Except I wasn't, and even if I was you can't prove it.
Cop: We'll see about that- in the mean time you're going to have to pay to get this fence fixed
Me: I'll fix it myself- half my family are carpenters, I should be able to manage (not strictly a lie- it's my mothers maiden name)
Cop: Okay, but i'll be giving your details to the manager of Sainsburys. Be on your way.

I went up a few days later and smashed a few nails into the fence. It fell down a few days later.

You might think I fought the law, but I won. I kind of did, but a few days later came an £800 garage bill, so I guess karma had the last laugh.

The bit that pissed me off the most though? I never got to do any handbrake turns.
(elkev, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 1:57, 4 replies)

Handbrake turns in supermarket car parks
are fun. I used to love skidding round in the snow in my local Asda in my youth.

But you have to admit, doing 80mph through town was fucking irresponsible at best.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:47, closed)

I burned out a clutch in my old banger of a Sierra doing that :(
(evil_hound last barked at the moon on, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 12:12, closed)

Gosh.
Idiot teenager in "Idiot Teenager" shocker.

Good work about the carpenters, though.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 10:04, closed)

I put
my car through a garden wall when I did a handbrake turn too fast. It was 7/11 and free slurpee day and so I was on my way to 7/11.
not a fun one to explain to my parents or the homeowner
but I did end up getting my slurpee
(monhwa, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 10:21, closed)