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"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.

(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
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My car
Is fucking cursed.

I bought it in October, it's a lovely Audi A3 with the 1.8 litre turbo in it. Lovely bright red, still deep and glossy. Full leather and low miles. Gorgeous to drive and not too bad on the petrol.

However, since i've owned it, I've had somebody go up the back of it, causing 700 pounds worth of damage; I've reversed it into a concrete pillar in a car park, causing 450 pounds worth of damage; it's started rusting from underneath the roof guttering, causing 180 pounds worth of damage; a persistant breathing problem which has so far totalled 600 pounds worth of bills, still unresolved I think. I've also had the reg plates nicked for unfathomable reasons.

There is something about owning a bright red car that seems to really anger other drivers, too. I've never had so many people cutting me up, seemingly in a determined effort to cause even more damage to my lovely, lovely motor. The most notable example was an old guy in a Rover P5b, I know it was a "b" because of the thunder of the V8 came right through my window as he swerved maniacally at the front of my Audi. Rover P5bs haven't been seen on the road for thirty years and the first one to make an appearance tries to kill me.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 12:26, 6 replies)
You've proved my theory
I Like read cars, so have had a few. Including my current Cooper S, they all seemed to attract nutters, be me moving or not.

It's not even road rage incidents. They look from a side turning, look away, look again then just pull out when I'm inches away!

I was thinking of getting an A3 to replace the Mini. Maybe not now!
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 12:34, closed)
It used to be Volvos
Now it's BMW x5s.
Add a cap.
Add a pipe.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 12:40, closed)
I read somewhere
...that people in red cars are more inclined to drive aggressively. Fuck knows if it's true or not.
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 12:40, closed)
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 13:01, closed)
You're in an Audi = cock
you're driving a red car = double cock
you're driving a dented rusty tarted up Volkswagen and you seem to think it's a supreme vehicle = cock to the power of gazillion point three recurring.

You know when you make the "wanker" gesture with your thumb and forefinger, and then waggle it in the air a few times? That's people making the Audi logo.

used to have an Audi Coupe
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 12:51, closed)
You'll know why the registration plates were stolen
when the speeding tickets start showing up...
(, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 13:03, closed)

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