Tales of a mini, these will bring a rosy glint of nostalgia to many eyes here
Ah days long gone, my first car was a herald convertible, that needed bailing in the rain and needed superman`s reactions if you lifted off in a corner. The telscopic driveshafts then did telescope and due to the designed after a pissup rear suspension the outer wheel assumed a 45 deg angle not in the beneficial direction. Evil sudden oversteer.
When this "oner for a runner" (£100) little beauty succumbed to red rot about 9 months later ( it was old enough to have sexual relations legally) I got £20 scrap for it and started saving up for a mini.

What a contrast! Went round corners on rails, I`d just take it out for a run round the country lanes and come back grinning.

(Aside- a formula ford on stickiest allowed race tyres can produce .76 corner g without downforce, this came as a comparison figure from a group test in CCC magazine early 80`s which showed a mini outcornered all the super minis and hot hatches on standard as delivered road rubber, some were trounced by a 10% + margin. It was only 2% less corner g than the racing car. Minis don`t go fast, they just don`t slow down for bends.)

After a time this led to breakdown tale #1 (not quite chronologically breakdown 1)

I was coming home the country lanes way and it hesitated going round a corner, this got progressively worse on each bend and I thought ah, low fuel, and carried on as I had a spare gallon can. Then I noticed someone had a wood bonfire, which was odd as there were only fields nearby, a glance in the rear view showed smoke coming from the sides of the rear seat cushion, bloody hell!

When I pulled over and opened the boot my ringpiece did goldfish out of water impressions. I turfed everything out, and managed to unbolt the - braid from the battery which stopped the sparks. ( to the unaware, original Minis have the battery in the boot which means the + lead goes through the front end of the boot floor via a rubber grommet) The battery had no clamp under what was left of the fibreboard cover and had shifted around on cornering,

The grommet had wriggled down, no longet keeping the cable away, and the rusty floor had cut into the + lead insulation shorting the battery, this had melted the insulation, charred the cardboard cover and the smouldering haynes manual was all that was stopping the metal spare petrol can from shorting across the battery! drove home carefully with a clothes peg found in my tool box wedging the battery lead away from chassis, and the remains of the haynes keeping the bare lead off the floor. ( haynes manuals DO have a use)

#2
First winter, it was turning over very slowly on starter and the choke was getting stiff, one evening It wouldn`t go in, the plugs fouled up, and I managed to get a tow off a mate. Bloody engine earth had worked loose and the choke and throttle cables were helping out, choke had welded itself up with the starter current.

#3
I use engine braking on the approach to a set of lights so that if they change I can carry on, saving fuel and time, I changed down into second and something felt funny about the gear lever, as i accelerated away there was clonk and as I eased up there was a clonk and the gear lever going up and down. I found the top steady bracket weld had cracked so the bolt was only held at one end and the eye of the steady had dropped off, so it was just rocking on the bottom mounts.
I got home holding the gearstick down and driving VERY progressively.

#4
As a shift worker I had a reserved parking place for nights, I got in to work was about to reverse into the space and grabbed a handful of wheel which became more than a handful, the whole steering column came away from the dash, as the bracket had cracked, Phil my supervisor said "they do that, come on lets have a look". So with cable ties, two hose clips and a few cut up pieces of heater hose for grip I was sorted to get home.

#5, ( really #1 I got tooled up and did all my own stuff after this i`ve just realised)

I had a first MOT and a fail on brakes due to brake pipe corrosion and I was a bit of a car virgin then, didnt have an easibleed or even the right tools, so I got them done and re MOT`d by a garage with a fair rep. 1 year down the line approaching a roundabout I tried to brake and the pedal went a very long way indeed. So it was hand brake and pump and crash down the gears. Fortunately it was a rear cylinder seal, so the rear brake limiter left me with some front brake, I limped home as in driving on snow and ice. I stripped it down, the cylinder bore was rusty, but i`d been charged for its replacement, the other one had been done I checked it all. I have never ever let a garage loose on the brakes on any vehicle since. (I did go and get very eastendian with the garage, as i hadn`t ticked the death option box, I got supplied with the bits i`d been charged for and not fitted, a more than token part refund and a most importantly- an apology. Fair enough. Shouldn`t have fucking well happened, don`t piss about with peoples lives or yours will be pissed with seriously my friend, got it? good.

Because the reg was UGY it bacame the ugly min. It was that bright orange that it seemed all minis from many of the years in the late 70`s were.

I learned something from a mate who was a paintsprayer which really showed up where work had been done, If the colour is red or orange look at it in a sodium streetlamp`s light and you will see every paint job and touch up. Poor old ugly had been badly treated.

Phil my superviser was a biker and mini racer, and an engine builder since 16, he gave me most of his mini bits when `er indoors said he had to give up racing as their daughter needed a father without any more steel in him, or with a wooden jacket rather than leather. His nickname was "ironman" aka desperate dan `cos of the blue chin.

I went down to Kent to collect the freebies ( I had to fight to give him £20 for a thank you drinkies, the wheels were worth well over a ton alone) and amongst odds `n sods got a duplex cooper cam chain set, and 7 genuine cooper steel rime. I aked why 7? "2 to put chains on to carry for winter you fool! quicker to change the wheels than fuckabout fitting chains in the cold and dark" ). Fair enough.

Apologies for length I did 40 000 miles in that thing and my back is still not right, but it was fun to drive, like having your hands on the road, total driving experience. You could 4 wheel drift the bloody thing with complete confidence that you could undrift it instantly and stop or steer normally.
(tootired Is searching for a funny sig, nothing good so far, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 19:50, 2 replies)

My very first car was a 1969 mini estate - they dont make excitement like that any more. :(
(Freakmandu, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 23:43, closed)

Ahh, yes...
Having owned around 15 of the old-style Mini's I've got a fair few tales to tell, many fond memories, and a few I'd rather forget.

I think having to plan braking a mile ahead is why I've never hit anything in my long driving history. You get to anticipate things and look further up the road than people who live on their brakes.

As a couple didn't have the poke to pull a greased stick out of a pigs arse, I also learned how to merge into traffic, rather than the plonkers that rush to the end of a slip-road, look and then stop dead.

You get to learn many interesting mechanical skills as well, like field-changing a bypass hose, water pump, starter motor, distributor, etc.

And to top it all, we've got legends like David Vizard and Paddy Hopkirk to look up to. Who do you look up to if you've got something like a new Corsa? (well, possibly the AA man).
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 11:40, closed)