Sister's Car
My sister lent me her Ford Escort car some years back, for a few days whilst she was away on holiday:

On Day One
It is freezing cold in the morning, and the car takes five minutes to start. Eventually, it ticks over and I kangaroo hop down the road until it warms up enough to stop stalling.

I go to college in the car, and have the same trouble starting it when giving friends a lift back to their house.

I leave their house at 1:00am. It's now very icy which means I can't get into the car, because the door locks have frozen. So, I go back to the house, get some boiling water and defrost the locks.

The car won't play at all. Worse still, the continuous attempts at starting the engine together with the use of hot water to clear the ice off the lights must have weakened the already dodgy welds holding the right hand side front body section. Because it falls off...

Somehow, after another five minutes of trying, the car does start - which is fortunate because the neighbours, who are glaring out their windows, look pretty angry about all the noise. So I put the bit that fell off in the trunk (the *boot*) and start kangaroo hopping home.

Unfortunately, I get stopped by the police on the way back, shortly after (stupidly) attempting to adjust the seat position whilst driving causing the car to move like a snake down the road:

"Is this your car, Sir?"
"No Officer, it's my sisters."
"Please breathe into this bag, Sir".

This is nice - it's probably the first time anyone ever called me Sir.

They go around the car, noticing that a large piece of bodywork is missing.

"Have you had an accident, Sir?"
"Erm, No, it fell off, Officer."
"Have you got an MOT for this car, Sir?"
"Errr, I believe so, Officer."

I get a telling off and have to bring the cars details to the police station sometime in the following week.

On Day Two
Next door neighbour has welding equipment, so Father and I spot weld the piece back on.

Have the same trouble starting the car, fortunately it is not so cold. Kangaroo hop down the road to college.

Sit in lectures all day (i.e. sleep all day).

Go to student bar on the evening, leave as sober as a judge at 11:00pm. Get to car park and look at the car. Horror! Someone has spiked all four wheels - all four tyres are flat!

Have to walk home.

On Day Three
Car is towed away to have the tyres replaced. I go to the garage to pick it up with Father (who has to pay because I have no money...) and drive it back home.

Half way back, I notice the car is shaking like mad when it gets above forty miles per hour.

We get back home and find that several of the nuts holding the wheels onto the car have fallen off...

On Day Four
I've given up driving.


Many apologies for length, style, use of punctuation
(Mucky has squinted at the screen with one eye shut since, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 22:57, Reply)