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"Here in my car", said 80s pop hero Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all". He obviously never shared the same stretch of road as me, then. Automotive tales of mirth and woe, please.

(, Thu 22 Apr 2010, 12:34)
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Spinning gently on its roof
Some years back I was driving along the A27 to a client's branch office, and was negotiating the thrilling string of roundabouts on the Chichester bypass. I gaily floored it around one of the innumerable things, only to slam my foot on the brake pedal as I saw a little red hatchback twirling merrily on its roof in front of me.

I stopped to see if anyone was hurt and if I could render any assistance, but no-one was hurt and by that point all I could do was wait for the coppers to arrive to take my statement ("No, officer, the car was already on its roof. I didn't see the collision happen.")

I never got the full story, but it didn't take Sherlock Holmes to deduce what had happened. A couple of teenage vermin chavs were out joyriding in someone's car (it might even have belonged to one of them, but it's unlikely), and the driver had completely ignored the rule in the Highway Code which suggests delicately that one might wish to give way to traffic already on a roundabout and approaching rapidly from one's right. Their vehicle hurtled onto the roundabout, straight into the front wing of another car with a delightful old fellow at the wheel and then, by means undetermined by me, managed to flip itself onto its roof whereupon it daintily pirouetted on the tarmac.

A few weeks later I got a letter from Sussex plod asking me to make myself available for a court appearance (date to be determined) and to provide a written statement ("The car was already on its roof. I didn't see the collision happen.") about the event. I never got the follow-up invitation to court. I guess the Crown Prosecutor sensibly figured my testimony would be useless.
(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 0:23, Reply)

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