Alice just found this pool of water...
When I was about eight years old, I was best friends with two sisters- Alice and Wendy- who lived a few doors down, and our playground was a half-built housing development nearby. We terrorised the neighbourhood: three little half-feral tomboys armed with misunderstood jokes gleaned from Eurotrash and South Park and a stockpile of raided tools from the building site. I still have a scar down my back from getting stuck in a hole in the roof of the builder's mobile, while trying to steal their crisps and scrawl a swear on the wall. That's the kind of thing we did... all pretty innocent by today's standards.

One hot July day we were really bored and had ventured further into the development than usual, about a 45 minute walk from our houses, and after losing track of time Alice and I realised we really, really needed to pee. It simply couldn't wait till we got home, and besides we thought it would be hilarious to piss in someone's bedroom-to-be, so we went into one of the half-built houses and squatted in the corner. After I'd been, Wendy and I kept watch at each of the windows for Alice, and just as she was pulling down her pants suddenly a little face popped up at my window and said "Hello!"
I jumped and tensed, but it was some other kid, too young to be a threat from one of the other gangs. He was craning his neck trying to see past me while Alice yanked her shorts up so fast she probably got a wedgie. "Er, what are you doing?" he asks, staring at the dark wet patch seeping along the floor.

It was then that I came up with a wonderfully wicked excuse.

"Oh, um, Alice here just found this puddle and wanted to paddle in it!" I grinned, staring meaningfully at poor Alice. At this point I should mention that we were barefoot, as our trainers were covered with the wet cement we'd been jumping in earlier. Alice was then obliged- to give my story some credibility- to dance, smiling, in a pool of my urine. The kid looked confused for a moment, then ran off without a word. Wendy and I choked laughing as Alice scraped her feet along the concrete. She later got her revenge by hiding our trainers so we had to walk home in our bare feet.
(Second sign of madness, Sat 5 Jun 2010, 13:58, Reply)