Wish I hadn't said it....
A few years ago I was at a rather posh do and the after dinner speaker was Mary Archer. We all thought her after dinner speech would never end so I got stuck into the red wine.

Fast forward an hour, the dinner (and thankfully speeches) are all over and everyone is milling around chatting, going home or doing their best not to fall over - as in my case.

So, I try and bend down to pick up my bag in the most delicate 'I've had farrr too much to drink and don't want my boobs to pop out' way possible and find that some fat arse croney has backed in to me and nearly sent me flying. My drunken inner sense of other people's bad manners led me to spin round to face said fat arse perpitraitor only to find myself very red faced and the words 'what the f*cking crabapples?!' dying on my lips as I am, of course, face to face with Jeffrey's better half.

She was really apologetic and I felt like a proper numpty... Soz Mary.
(Senora Veranos cannot and will not so ner..., Thu 8 Oct 2009, 15:29, Reply)