I have no interesting stories
So have a few shit ones instead.

Nearly got run over by the Queen Mum's Daimler (well, a big black car) at Coventry Station in 1990. She did smile and wave though.

Saw Dominik Diamond walking along a deserted street near Wembley Stadium in 1991 or 1992.

Chatted with Dave Gilmour for about five minutes while queuing to go into a recording at Central TV studios in Nottingham in 1992 or 1993. Nice guy. Then turned to the guy stood next to me (who had asked for various things to be signed) and asked "so who was that then?".

Threw my underwear at Dannii Minogue as part of a dare/bet in 1993. EDIT: Must have been a dare, as I don't recall getting anything in return apart from slightly chillier knackers.

Served Rory Underwood tea in 1994.

Was walking down the road outside the Virgin Megastore in London in 1996 with my arm in a sling when Chris Evans and Kim Wilde ran straight into me. Too polite to call him a ginger tosser, and too lacking in gumption to remember that I'd just bought her Greatest Hits CD in the Virgin sale (in my defence, I was a recent ex-student at the time).

Shouted "We love you, Michael" (in an ironic fashion) at point blank range at the late King of Pop with a bunch of other backpackers who'd picked up a night's work backstage at his concert in Sydney in 1996 (after being instructed not to look at or speak to Mr Jackson under any circumstances).

Saw David Campese in a shopping centre in the suburbs of Sydney in 1996. When I told my Australian co-workers they laughed at me and told me I was standing outside his shop.

Moved to Yorkshire in 1998 and have not knowingly seen a celebrity since - I worked next door to the Emmerdale studios for eighteen months, but I've never seen the programme so probably blanked the entire cast in that time. Oh, and I saw two Leeds United players in a club and thought they were bouncers.

What do I win?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 13:35, 1 reply)

great image
of the Queen Mother smiling and waving as she drives over you
(ignoramusaurus, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 15:20, closed)