Another cricket one
This one actually comes courtesy of my fiance, who worked for NZ Cricket for a spell and has a lot of stories to tell. One of my favourites involves Martin Crowe.

Like Chris Cairns, he was kind of a big deal in the cricketing world, so naturally he was a bit of a twat. Late in his career he began suffering from the blight which affects most men at a certain age: impending baldness. Unfortunately for him, my missus-to-be decided to do her Martin Crowe impersonation while bored during a game, which went something like:

(assuming a hunch) "Hi I'm Martin Crowe and I'm a stupid bald cunt!"

Well, you'll NEVER guess who happened to overhear this! Crowe then came into the area where she was, grabbed something and shot her one of those looks that says "Man, fuck you!" and angrily shuffled his way out.

Last night she told me that she felt a bit bad about that now, because there's an ad for Advanced Hair Studio (baldy clinic) on TV here that features Crowe saying that he went to the studio because he "was sick of all the baldness jokes". Aw bless.

Also, Daniel Vettori stole her smokes. There were rumours around at the time that he was a bit of a klepto and she used to always get bored and doodle on her ciggie pack, os it was pretty distinctive. One game they went missing, making for a frustrating evening, but later when she was cleaning out their changing room, what should she see sticking out of Vettori's bag? Because she couldn't be seen with her hand in his bag for whatever reason, she instead poured 2/3 a bottle of water all over his bag and the ciggies, meaning that if she couldn't smoke them, no one could.

With a few exceptions, it sounds like all the cricketers she worked with were cunts. What does that tell you?
(ElGranto, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 21:39, Reply)